Ohio State seems to almost come away with a victory no one believed they could pull off, and then USC reminded everyone why it wasn't possible in the first place.
The Bengals appear like their going to win a game that they were ACTUALLY EXPECTED TO WIN, I know hard to believe, and then Brandon Stokley makes a catch which is being referred to as a miracle.
Finally of course the Browns were...umm...well...the Browns.
Ohio, as a person who studies religion I must ask, have you guys stopped and considered the likelihood that you may have pissed off God somewhere or that He may not even like you? I mean it's not that much of a stretch, anyone who has driven through the state can tell God stopped making it and moved on to something else about midway through.
Seriously, Cleveland, you guys must have really done something wrong. Perhaps it's because you let a body of water catch on fire, or better yet, because THIS IS STILL SOMEHOW BEING USED AS YOUR TEAM'S MASCOT!
Meanwhile on Monday Night Football, the Buffalo Bills couldn't hold off divine intervention and blew a solid lead late in the game. This should probably be attributed to the fact the man upstairs apparently loves Boston more than everywhere else, but just in case I think Buffalo should take preventative measures before they're hit by some kind of plague. Although, I'm sure it wouldn't be any worse than the one they imposed on themselves. Kudos on trying to erase that mistake from your history.
For your penance Ohio and Buffalo, throw 3 Hail Marys and get rid of those shitty logos. Also work on making those shit stains you call cities, not suck.
p.s.- I'm probably going to Hell.