The 10 Best Solutions for the Coyotes
By (Correspondent) on September 11, 2009
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Not so long ago in a desert not so far away Judge Redfield T. Baum shocked the courtroom in the Phoenix Coyotes Bankruptcy proceedings by saying he might choose neither the NHL's bid or Blackberry Billionaire Balsillie's bid for the troubled NHL Franchise. Obviously they need some help to get things done down there so here are the proposed solutions to end this mess with Phoenix, Jim Balsillie and Gary Bettman.
I hope the judge is reading this, it has the best solutions that no one has said yet!
Exodus!
Move all the Hamiltonians to Phoenix. (Hey, It might be cheaper at this rate!)
Name Change
Change their name to the Cardinals to trick people into buying tickets.
Free Blackberries
Make Jim Balsillie give everyone involved a free blackberry.
War!
Get Barack Obama to annex Hamilton, Ontario as part of the United States, then Gary Bettman could say he is not putting a team in Canada.
Hell freezes over
Make it snow in Phoenix - that way people won't have anything else to do but watch hockey.
Education
Make Jim Balsillie show Gary Bettman how to read email on his blackberry.
Bailout
Tell Federal Reserve Chairmen Benjamin Bernanke that the Coyotes are actually a bank and they need bailout money.
Tickets tickets tickets
Move the courtroom to Glendale arena so they can charge tickets for this mess. They would probably sell more tickets than the Coyotes!
No choice
Make the Phoenix Cardinals football team move back to St. Louis so their is less competition for fans.
And the number one solutions...
Make the Judge actually watch the games from last year, then he will for sure let them go to Hamilton!
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