Ohio State-USC: Top Ten Things You Won't Hear During the Game (Humor)

Kevin PaulSenior Analyst ISeptember 11, 2009

When the Buckeyes and Trojans hit the field this weekend, it won’t just be one of the biggest games of the week, but also the entire season. 

And while there are a lot of things you will hear before, during and after this matchup, here’s a list of ten things you most definitely will NOT hear:

Top 10 Things You Won’t Hear At Ohio State v USC Game this Weekend


10. Dane Sanzenbacher: “Boy, I can’t wait to meet Taylor Mays on the field.”

9. Pete Carroll: “I’ll never chance it by going for it on fourth and short.”

8. Matt Barkley: “John David Booty has been giving me advice on his recent experiences on how to handle the continuous influx of media.”

7. OSU Linebackers: “Joe McKnight? Piece of cake…we handled Ricky Dobbs last week.”

6. Terrelle Pryor: “No time to talk, I have been hired to be President Obama’s new press secretary.”

5. Taylor Mays: “When away from football, I enjoy knitting, reading romance novels, and long walks on the beach.”

4. Mitch Mustain: “I’m gettin’ some tonight.”

3. Jim Tressel: “Let’s do a double-reverse, fake flea flicker.”

2. USC Trojans: “Let’s celebrate a score with a golf clap and a nonchalant handing of the football to the official.”

1. Ohio State Sports Information Department: “Mr. Maurice Clarett will be dotting the “i” today.”


** Obvious Disclaimer: None of the above quotes are real, but instead an attempt at humor

Related

    Bama's Tua Throwing Again, Making Progress After Hand Injury

    College Football logo
    College Football

    Bama's Tua Throwing Again, Making Progress After Hand Injury

    Saturday Down South
    via Saturday Down South

    USC President C.L. Max Nikias to Step Down

    USC Football logo
    USC Football

    USC President C.L. Max Nikias to Step Down

    Matt Hamilton
    via latimes.com

    5-Star DE Pickens Commits to South Carolina Over Clemson

    College Football logo
    College Football

    5-Star DE Pickens Commits to South Carolina Over Clemson

    Adam Wells
    via Bleacher Report

    Former SIU DL Shot Defending Students at Indiana School

    College Football logo
    College Football

    Former SIU DL Shot Defending Students at Indiana School

    Mike Chiari
    via Bleacher Report