Lakers-Spurs: Game Two Minute-by-Minute Breakdown

After a depressing loss in game one, the Spurs needed a strong performance from their stars to pull out the road win Friday night.

Playoff basketball on TNT is always must-see TV, so here's my minute-by-minute stream of consciousness recap of game two.

9:02 PM:  Magic Johnson is back in the TNT booth!  I haven’t seen Magic in a while, but I remember him being more awkwardly entertaining than Reggie Miller or Chris Webber.  We’ll see if he lives up to my expectations.

9:05 PM:  The crew discusses Kobe’s slow game one start.  I expect Kobe to come out strong in the first half and then coast through the second.

9:07 PM:  Craig Sager seems to be wearing a Lakers’ Gold suit tonight.  Sharp?

9:19 PM:  Didn’t take long for Kobe to score his first points. He definitely looks more aggressive tonight. 

9:20 PM:  Tim Duncan slams home a strong rebound dunk.  I know it’s not his style and it’s only the first quarter but show me some emotion after such a physical play!  Smile or even do that stupid head tap thing Quentin Richardson and Darius Miles used to do.

9:22 PM: The bank’s always open for Kobe.

9:23 PM: Mike Finley hits a three and is immediately taken out of the game.  I miss the Dallas’ teams of Dirk, Steve Nash, and Finley.  You have to wonder who of the three has been the happiest since they went their separate ways.  While Dirk and Nash have won three of the last four MVPs, Finley averaged just 27 minutes despite starting 61 games this regular season.   Then again, Finley owns the NBA championship.

9:24 PM:  Tim Duncan bricks a pair of free throws.  It's ironic that Gregg Popovich loves the Hack-a-Shaq when he has such a poor free-throw shooter on his own team.  I’m a little surprised more teams haven’t tried the Hack-a-Timmy.  On second thought, watching people miss free throws is boring, so I’m grateful other coaches care about my viewing pleasure.

9:26 PM: I love those T-mobile commercials with Dwyane Wade and Charles Barkley.  Barkley reminds me of that girl who plays hard to get while you spend all year chasing her.  But once she's yours, she just won't leave you alone. Ever. 

9:27 PM: You know those commercials in which WNBA superstars repeat some of the ignorant things people say about the WNBA? Like, “my rec league would totally smoke you guys.”  How wrong is it that I’ve personally made most of these comments?

9:32 PM:  Bruce Bowen hits an open three.  Best way to make an NBA roster: Become a lockdown defender with a decent three-point shot.  Guys like Bowen and Shane Battier will always find work in the NBA.  It also helps to be 6-foot-6.

9:34 PM:  Pau Gasol leaves the game with two fouls at the first quarter’s 3:30 mark.  Kobe has only four points while Fisher and Odom have been taking a lot of shots…

9:38 PM:  Craig Sager investigates Kobe’s shoe situation.  Apparently, Kobe puts on his “Black Mamba” sneakers when he needs to be aggressive.  I have some qualms with this nickname.  First, you can’t give yourself a nickname.  Sometimes, like when you go to college and tell your new friends that everyone back home calls you “Black Mamba, you can pull off creating your own nickname.  But when you’re Kobe Bryant and you pick a nickname as outrageous as "Black Mamba" halfway through your career, you’re not fooling anyone.  Secondly, until a fan learns that a “Black Mamba” is the world’s most lethal snake, the nickname sounds like a female comic book villain or some sort of racial reference.

9:39 PM:  Kobe validates Sager's sneaker expose with a two-handed slam on the ensuing play.  It must be the shoes.

9:40 PM:  Marv Albert and Doug Collins replay the playoff’s worst shot.  Robert Horry’s three-point “attempt” hit the top left corner of the backboard and careened hopelessly off.  By the far, the grossest shot of Big Shot Bob’s career.  In his defense, the three he jacked up on the next possession didn't miss by nearly as much.

9:42 PM:  The camera catches a guy picking his nose.  If you’re sitting behind Gregg Popovich, you really have to be more discreet.

9:46 PM: End of First Quarter.  21-16 Lakers.  Pretty uneventful quarter.

9:56 PM:  Big-time lob from Luke Walton to Lamar Odom.  Odom’s ability to finish above the rim with one-hand is crucial. Few NBA players would have had enough elevation to go up and dunk Walton’s high lob with two hands.

10:02 PM: Wow.  Jordan Farmar catches Ime Udoka from behind and pins his lay-up against the backboard.  Kind of like Tayshaun Prince’s block of Reggie Miller a few years back.  Udoka and Miller deserve to be ridiculed for not dunking.  Cleanly rejecting a dunk attempt is so much more difficult than blocking a lay-up.

10:05 PM:  TNT airs an emotional commercial for Animal Planet’s Meerkat Manor: The Story Begins.  I have no idea why TNT would agree to show a commercial for another program in the same time slot as this series' game three.  I just wish it was airing Saturday night.  Then I could keep switching back between Animal Planet and ESPN and compare the hopeless little faces of the meerkats with the hopeless little faces of Garnett, Rondo, and Doc Rivers as the Celtics inevitably lose another away game. 

10:07 PM: Pau Gasol's chip shot rims out.  Doesn’t seem to be his night. 

10:11 PM: Duncan has quietly amassed eight PTS and 12 REB.  TD is so dominant that you don’t even notice his first half near double-doubles anymore.

10:16 PM: Sasha Vujacic nails consecutive jumpers.  I’m starting to really like this guy. He's a solid shooter and his defense on Ginobili has been excellent (Manu's injuries may also be affecting him). I'm confident the Lakers' second squad could beat the Knicks at this point.  A team of Farmar, Vujacic, Walton, Radmanovic (who’ll go to the bench when Bynum returns), and Ronny Turiaf would definitely hold their own.  When Trevor Ariza is outside the team's top 10 players, you know the Lakers are incredibly deep.

10:18 PM: Fisher fouls Duncan with 2.4 seconds left in the half.  I don’t know why Fisher is so upset about sending Duncan to the line. He is going to miss both anyway.

10:19 PM:  After missing both free throws, Tim grabs his own rebound and throws up a shot at the buzzer.  It looks like there was contact, but the referees let it slide.  My dad always told me that as long as I remained a terrible free-throw shooter, referees wouldn’t give me questionable foul calls.  I would just miss the free throws and waste everyone’s time.  I think Timmy’s in that boat now.

10:26 PM:  T-Mobile does a montage of some of Charles’ Fave Fives.  I can’t wait to see his Fave Five Las Vegas Gambling Debts edition. 

10:30 PM:  Barkley echoes the Lakers have best bench in basketball sentiment.

10:35 PM:  Fisher earlier claimed that the Lakers’ game one victory put “hair on their chests.” TNT pastes Magic Johnson’s head onto a hairy-chested body.  Magic smoothly responds, “Thanks a lot.  I need some, ‘cuz I don’t have none.”  Yep.  Just as awkwardly entertaining as ever.

10:43 PM:  Kobe's nickname is starting to grow on me.  I stand by my "Black Mamba" complaints, but Bryant really is that lethal.  He already has 20 points, and you just feel he can score whenever he wants.
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10:44 PM: Lakers are up 55-41 with 9:32 left in the third.  This is dangerous territory for the Spurs. 

10:54 PM: When the Spurs were up by 20 in game one, you weren’t sure if the Lakers were going to win, but you at least knew they had a serious run left in their tank. Kobe was still biding his time. The Lakers’ 17-point lead looks pretty insurmountable tonight. With Ginobili not himself, the Spurs don’t have the firepower to mount a comeback.

10:55 PM: Ginobili completes what Doug Collins calls a “vintage Ginobili” three-point play right on cue.

11:03 PM: Lamar Odom gets called for a lot of charges…

11:09 PM: Lakers lead 74-57 at the end of the third quarter.  Ginobili has started to come alive, but I’m not feeling too confident about the Spurs’ chances.

11:19 PM:  At least Eva Longoria-Parker is still really hot.

11:21 PM: The Spurs score under 90 points and have won just twice during their seven road playoff games.  These road woes are surprising for a team as experienced as the Spurs.

11:28 PM: Trevor Ariza looks good in garbage time.  I want to say that he’ll be an important piece for next year’s Lakers’ team, but they still have 10 other players ahead of him.  I also want to say that at least the Lakers don't have a first round draft pick this year, but I'm sure Mitch Kupchak will just steal back the Grizzlies pick.

11:30 PM: Sideline Sleuth Craig Sager reports that Knicks’ GM Donnie Walsh is letting the Spurs borrow the team’s charter jet for the rest of the playoffs.  I wonder what Walsh's motives are. The Knicks’ players don’t have any playoff experience, might as well get their jet some...

11:38 PM: Mbenga hits an elbow jumper off a broken play. When it rains, it pours. 

11:40 PM: Lakers win 101-71.  You can't rule out the Spurs since they came back from multiple road blowouts to defeat the Hornets, but tonight was ugly. The Spurs will need a healthy Ginobili to make this series competitive in San Antonio.

11:48 PM: Chuck compares the Gasol trade to America stealing all the Indians’ land.  Kobe laughs it off and tries to claim he likes Kwame Brown.  I don't know what's less believable: that Kobe didn't threaten to boycott the Beijing Olympics unless Stern looked the other way while LA fleeced Memphis or that Kobe actually likes Kwame Brown.

11:57 PM: TNT shows Kobe’s hilarious new viral video.  A moving car was nothing.  Now Kobe is jumping over a pool of deadly snakes.  Between the 20 minutes Craig Sager spent talking about Kobe’s shoes, the close-ups of both Kobe’s and Odom’s sneakers, and airing the new viral video, TNT's coverage tonight may have raised Nike's stock 2 percent.

12:31 AM: Adding insult to injury, Barkley just called San Antonio “Podunk” and “Backwoods, Texas.”  I personally think San Antonio is a very nice city.