Oh, to be a Buckeye.
Whether you hail from the great state of Ohio, or you've become attached to Buckeye Country from afar, we all know what a thrill it is to be a part of the storied tradition that is The Ohio State University.
Full of tradition and pride, being an Ohio State fan means being a part of something far bigger than anything you've ever imagined.
But being a fan does come with some prerequisites and necessities.
This week, as the players gear up for the battle, we the fans must gear up for the party.
So, before we kick off the biggest game of the year, double-check this list to make sure you're fully prepared for the entire night, whatever may come of it.
This is "wear" it all begins for most Buckeye fans.
Whether it's a T-shirt or hat, or an authentic jersey, every fan should adorn the scarlet and gray in some way, shape, or form.
There are no requirements as to how much you should wear. Some keep it simple while others go all out.
From face paint, cowboy hats, oversized shirts, and no shirts, its your opportunity to get creative!
Just be sure to check with the Mrs.
I don't guarantee that she'll be excited to see you and your friends shirtless on the couch with "Buckeyes" written across your chests.
Some fans take this step more seriously than others.
The superstition of many will have them wearing the same No. 45 jersey they've been wearing for years.
I, for one, will be sporting my new No. 2 jersey. It has a perfect record of 1-0 and, until it fails me, it'll continue to be my gameday choice.
This might be the most important item on the list.
Every Buckeye fan will need one, especially while watching Mark May on College Football Live.
Squeezing this little ball will prevent you from throwing your child's favorite chair through your brand new window, and from shouting four-letter words your in-laws should never hear you say.
You're going to get thirsty.
If the game is as good as anticipated, you're mouth is going to be as dry as those California hills our opponents hail from.
Tomato juice is the official drink for the state of Ohio, but somehow I don't think that'll suffice.
Beer is a staple for any football party, and your selection is limitless.
I, for one, will take a Guinness.
But for your guests who may not drink beer, be sure to have plenty of other options available.
Dr. Pepper will do just fine, and keep a can of tomato juice handy, just in case.
Nothing says Ohio like a nice hog roasted over an open flame.
I can remember spending many Saturday nights out on the farm with family and friends. The chill of the summer night, mixed with the sound of laughter and music.
Happy cows might come from California, but I'll take a pig any day.
I'm aware that roasting your own hog this Saturday might be a bit burdensome, so any ham will do. Just don't forget the swiss cheese.
California has Ghirardelli, but Ohio has the sweet taste of Buckeye Candy.
The peanut butter-filled, chocolate-covered Buckeye, makes a Reese's Cup flutter in jealousy.
These Ohio delicacies are available by retail, but it's much more fun to make them yourself.
The secret, though, is to always make an extra batch. You don't want your party spoiled by selfish patrons hogging all the candy.
If, by chance, you do happen to run out before you get your fill, feel free to utilize the stress ball mentioned earlier.
You might be asking, "How am I supposed to get The Ohio State Marching Band at my party?"
Well, you can't, but you can definitely get their music.
If you've ever gone to the Horseshoe on a Saturday afternoon, you've probably noticed that people will be blaring their car speakers with the tunes of TBDBITL in the parking lot.
The same applies for your party. Grab a disc, or download from the World Wide Web and blast those speakers with "Hang on Sloopy" and "Carmen Ohio."
Everyone will love it, and it's a great way to show off your baton-twirling skills to all your friends.
We're now dressed and well fed, now lets get to the decorations.
Ohio Stadium will be bleeding Scarlet and Gray on Saturday night, and although you won't actually be in the stadium, every home or bar having a USC-OSU party can definitely take part in the color scheme.
Along with the clothes you'll be wearing, it's just as important to make sure that the room where you'll be viewing the game is adorned just the same.
So grab whatever you have, whatever your friends have and cover the premises.
This shall include but is not limited to: posters, pictures, helmets, dolls, pens, napkins, toothbrushes, shoes, hats, blankets, and even your dog that's dressed as an OSU cheerleader.
I'm sure you'll do your team proud, but if you have any questions, this video is the goal.
In closing, I'd like to say that even though all the aforementioned items are important in their own rights, none is more important than bringing your Buckeye pride to the party.
We're all aware of the statistics and what the experts think, but those words of prediction should not penetrate the heart of a true Buckeye.
We've been here before and we've come out on top.
The boys in the pads and uniforms will be playing their best to satisfy not only their own desire, but that of hundreds of thousands of fans in and outside of Ohio.
They're bringing their pride. Bring yours as well.
Have a great Saturday night party and GO BUCKS!