Rise and shine football fanatics, The Rooster has already woken up, checked on his chickens, read the newspapers, flipped all the unnecessary pages, landed his feathery hands on the sports section, circled the uncanny news on the page and drank his morning coffee. It’s another beautiful day in our football world.
From Didier Drogba and Cristiano Ronaldo to Eduardo and Wayne Rooney, the theatrical art of diving seems to be on the rise in football.
A man with Rooney's physique may well be standing still and unmoved after being hit by a truck. Yet a mini-tussle makes him fall to the ground and appeal for a penalty. That's an eyebrow-raising, beautiful "co-incidence."
But the man of the moment is Eduardo. Known for his accurate left foot, Eduardo has been tipped to move away from London and to Hollywood soon after his brilliant piece of acting at Celtic.
The interesting issue is that FIFA has chosen to ban Eduardo. With Arsene Wenger tagging the decision as "disgraceful", some ask why the Croatia striker has been singled out in the new trend of theatrical football.
Ronaldo, Drogba and a host of other players have had their share in faking injuries to appeal for fouls and never had they been fined as it is in Eduardo's case.
But in all fairness to them, they knew how to act. When FIFA used to view the replays, the referee's decisions would be seen as controversial.
However, Eduardo left no doubt in anybody's mind. He didn't even try to conceal his theatrics. Maybe he didn't know a close camera was rolling. Or maybe he's not such a talented actor.
Maybe he got fined for not being such a talented actor. After all, Arsenal are paying him millions and he's playing in the English Premier League. Can he not even act?
Guess who hates diving? Okay, everybody-even Sir Alex Ferguson.
Yes, Ferguson might have stood by Ronaldo all the time as the Portuguese, who is "living his boyhood dream" at the Bernabeu after he did exactly that at Old Trafford, made a living out of diving.
Yes, Ronaldo took his theatrics to the ultimate theatre, the great Old Trafford. They were great times for Manchester United and Ferguson had never talked of his player's acting.
But now, since it's not his player-more specifically since Eduardo's a Gunner-Ferguson seems to emphasize the importance of catching the criminals in every way possible.
It's never bad to change one's opinion for the better, but The Rooster would love to know Ferguson's views on Rooney's antics.
Emre Belozuglu and Gabriel Milito turn 29 today.
That wraps up this edition of The Footie's Rooster Call.