Amid dire warnings of potential outbreaks of H1N1 flu (swine flu), comes further word from the CDC (Coming Dynasties Commission) that several major cities in the USA and Canada are at risk of yet another rare infectious disease.
This new threat is actually an old strain re-emerging from the 1970s, commonly known as Bp. Best estimates of a timeline for the onset of Bp have the initial outbreak beginning as early as this winter. The malady is expected to steadily increase into a full-blown epidemic through at least 2013.
The virus apparently targets a specific sector of the populace: professional basketball fans. Hence, this common risk factor puts every NBA city on high-alert status.
Symptoms include a dramatic and irrational fear of failure, feelings of inferiority, and uncontrollable fits of rage.
Researchers have determined from records of the previous outbreak in the 1970s and another less severe episode in the early 1990s, that one NBA city curiously had a built-in immunity to Bp: Portland, Oregon.
Through further research, disease specialists in Portland were able to isolate an antigen to Bp (scientifically known as Blazerphobia).
The good news coming from the CDC is this: the only known vaccine and/or cure for Blazerphobia is an injection of its counter-strain, Blazermania.
An unlimited supply of this vaccine will be introduced beginning this fall. It is strongly recommended that all at-risk persons consult with their doctor or health care adviser concerning inoculation.
Free samples will be available at all Trail Blazer home and road games beginning this year.
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