Olympic Hockey Panic Buttons

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Olympic Hockey Panic Buttons
(Photo by Mike Ridewood/Getty Images)

Its time to start the Olympic "ice" hockey chatter. The simple fact that I have to preface that last sentence with "ice" makes me throw-up a little in my mouth. You know that little puke, an unfriendly reminder that you probably shouldn't eat chicken fingers for breakfast, again (editor's comment, never start an article by typing 'puke' within the first two sentences). Note to field hockey from the world, "please change your name to 'field soccer' so real hockey fans don't have to vomit as much". On the other hand, women's field hockey consists of short skirts...on second thought, those short skirts are usually filled with legs so thick that they would make Adrian Peterson jealous. The last field hockey player of the year in the "FHL" (can anyone really name a field-hockey league) was banned by the federal government from ever wearing blue-jeans again after an incident where the jaws-of-life were required in removing said player's jeans after a swimming pool accident (reader wants to remind Knee-Jerk that for all of the hatred he intended to throw at Field Soccer, its certainly getting alot of ink in his column. Get to the point). There is only 1 hockey and its time to start chirping about the 2010 Olympics or as it is becoming known; "Brodeur's Public Funeral".

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