The K2 Interview with Evan Shoman: Parental Discretion is Advised

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The K2 Interview with Evan Shoman: Parental Discretion is Advised

I was introduced to the incredible artwork of Evan Shoman through an interview in Fight! Magazine last December. The talented artist from San Diego and self-proclaimed "full-time Internet whore" puts pencil to paper to create ridiculously realistic sketches like the one featured above.

While embarking on my Shameless Self-Promotion Tour to get my name out into the MMA world at the outset of the summer, the multi-tasking Shoman added me on Facebook, though he has yet to become one of my fans.

After penning a piece about his work for one of my other sites and leaving a link on his wall proclaiming myself an "Evan Shoman nuthugger," we got to talking and this interview was born.

Be advised that what follows is not for those without a sense of humor, and a warped one at that. Evan Shoman doesn't take himself too seriously and neither should you. Otherwise, you're going to dislike him, me, and everyone involved with this interview and none of us want that.

Especially me.

This is the K2 Interview Series...with Evan Shoman.

From re-reading your Fight! Magazine interview, you either don’t like talking about your artistic work or you just get bored with the same questions so you end up giving ridiculous answers and messing with the interviewer. Which is it?

That’s it...this interview is over!!!

It’s both I guess. It’s always the same questions in every interview…How long do your drawings take? What do you use? Who was the hardest fighter to draw?

Literally all interviews I’ve done are the same questions recycled by different editors. But that’s ok, I have a fantastic penis.

Next question!

Personally, I think your work sucks anyway and I don’t really want to talk about it. You’re just enough of a name to get me a little attention on the Internet, so why not try to gain some exposure off of you, right?

You may as well. However, all credibility that you may have had is now defunct after this interview.

Gone because I'm admitting to being an attention-seeking whore like yourself, or gone because I'm interviewing you?

Ryan Loco is the attention whore. I just need to be online all the time so my art is out “there.” I’d love no attention and a fat bank account. Ryan wants fat attention and no bank account. That being said, your credibility is shot because as soon as people read this they will think two things:

  1. When did MMA start an outreach program for retards?
  2. Just reading about Ryan Loco I’ve contracted six diseases.

 

Jokes aside, your work is amazing. What are you currently working on?

Dan Hardy. Skyscrape texted me a few weeks ago and said Dan Hardy wanted one done. Skrape is awesome; he’s a fan of my work and being who he is, he gets my whole collection of prints for free. Gave him about 30 prints two weeks ago.

If he says I should draw Dan Hardy, I draw Dan Hardy. If he says draw Michael Bisping, I draw Dan Hardy.

Do you plan in advance who you want to draw or do you just wing it, taking suggestions and waiting for inspiration to punch you in the face?

I get suggestions all the time and it’s never who you’d think. Last week a guy emailed me and said “Where’s Eddie?” Apparently I was missing a drawing of Iron Maiden mascot, Eddie. I get that kind of shit every day.

As for how I pick who I’m going to draw…Hmmm, never been asked that question.

You do more than just draw pictures for a living. How did co-hosting TapouT Radio come about?

Cause I’m awesome. Ryan Loco and I got interviewed for my drawings and him being my hanger-on-er. Literally, he worked at a protein store when we were asked to be on. I want residuals when that dick finally makes some money.

Anyway, we went on Cageside Live, a place that our girl Crooklyn was the boss/owner of, and we did what Ryan and I do. The next week we were co-hosts. Then when Pro Elite died, we died.

I called up Punkass and gave [head] to all of TapouT. The rest is history...after I got my stomach pumped.

Your co-host is Ryan Loco, “star” of The Loco Life. Tell the truth: How much do you despise Ryan Loco?

I love him as much as every fetus he murders.

I know life isn’t fair, but how does that chucklehead make a living roaming around with a video camera being a jackass, while I slave away behind a computer writing insightful and interesting pieces like this and make dick?

You could do whatever you want to do, but the safe stability of a W2 is a lot less scary than finding what you love and following that passion hoping it takes you to the top.

Also, living in Doze’s parents’ basement and driving a '93 Escort isn’t making much of a living. Yet females still allow him to put himself in them. Imagine if he had money and no STDs.

One last Loco question: How ridiculous is the intro to Loco Life? It sounds like someone reading an online dating profile. “Hi. I’m Ryan. These are my friends. This is my dog. I live here...”

It’s ridiculous because I’m not in it. Me = Ratings.

Are you looking forward to going back to Comic Con next year? (Check out Episode 5 of The Loco Life to see what I'm talking about...)

Yes. I brought my two kids, Ryan Loco and my son, Jordan, who is seven. Coincidentally, that’s the age of all the chicks Ryan dates.

Nate Quarry and I usually go every year, but I got hosed on the day we usually go on. The nerds sold it out three months prior. Luckily, Punkass gave me his and Skrape’s passes so we could go!

 

Congratulations on finding Waldo too!

We lost him shortly after we found him.

Before getting around to some more insightful and investigative journalism-type questions, let’s run through the Keyboard Kimura Questionnaire:

Favourite fighter?

Vitor Belfort.

Best fight you’ve ever seen—live or otherwise?

Dan knocking Bisping’s head off was the greatest thing I ever saw in MMA. Best fight live was watching Fedor smash Silva.

Most Underrated Fighter?

Cub Swanson. Shane Carwin. Paul Daley.

Most Overrated?

Michael Bisping. Alistair Overeem. Andrei Arlovski.

Best Pound-for-Pound?

Come on...Fedor. No one is even close. People who know the sport, know this. Here’s why:

  1. He’s never lost.
  2. He’s never lost to someone he shouldn’t have.
  3. Has been in wars and on the brink of defeat only to pull out the win.


Other P4P arguments are GSP or Silva. Numbers one and two don’t apply to GSP. Numbers one, two, and three don’t apply to Anderson.

(Note: this is the best, most logical, most factually correct argument anyone has ever made in this regard. I might have to change my next P4P List now.)

Best Prospect?

Cub Swanson. Ed Ratcliff. Shane Carwin. Gegard Mousasi. Lyle Beerbohm.

Back to less important things...

Your radio show isn’t a traditional radio show; you’re not looking to ask the formulaic questions because, well, they suck and everyone already knows the answer.

That being said, what is the best question you’ve ever asked someone on the show and what was their response?


There are two:

1. Me: Chuck, is it safe to say if there was a country called ‘Mumble’ that you’d be the Prime Minister?

Chuck Liddell: I get that shit all the time.

2. Crooklyn: Dan, if there was one thing you could say to Michael Bisping before your fight with him what would it be?

Dan Henderson: Evan Shoman is gay.

 


You’re a big movie fan. Having worked at Blockbuster myself for some time, I like to consider myself an idiot savant in the world of movies, heavy emphasis on the idiot part.

With that in mind and knowing that I’m probably going to argue with you regardless of what you say, what’s the best movie of all-time?


Bachelor Party, 300, Sin City, Empire Strikes Back, Rocky 3

Honestly, I can't even really argue with that. All solid picks.

You live in San Diego. After Anchorman came out, how long did it take before you wanted to choke people out for quoting the movie?

I’m not into auto-asphyxiation

Favorite actor?

Gary Oldman

Favorite actress?

Ryan Loco

 

Best nude scene in movie history and don’t pretend like you don’t have a pick?

After porn, is there really a good nude scene in regular movies?

Worst movie ever?

Mulholland Drive, MI:2, Terminator 3


Two more MMA-related questions and then I let you go:

If you could fight anyone—past or present—who would it be and who would be the winner?

No one. My power hand is my drawing hand. Gotta stay away from my face and hand; those are my two money makers.

If you could play matchmaker for one day, regardless of organizational ties or anything like that, what three fights would you make and why?

Fedor vs. Brock
Fedor vs. Anderson
Fedor vs. a mountain

I'd make these fights so these retarded screaming fanboys would shut the hell up.

Any long-winded shoutouts and thank-yous?

Shomanart.com, tapoutlive.com, ryanloco.com, and you for taking your time to interview me.

Aw, that's sweet... now when are you going to have me on your show? Isn’t that how this works?

Time for you to blow your way to the top like I did.

* * * * * * * * * *

Hey! Look Over Here!

Before anyone starts bashing Evan or questioning how I could print some of the off-color things he says above, relax for a minute and know that he's not serious, as I told you up front.

Ryan Loco doesn't kill fetuses (feti?) and I have not yet confirmed the details of how Mr. Shoman's career in the industry advanced to the position it's at now.

We're just trying to have a little fun and lighten the mood heading into the weekend. Not every interview can be worthy of 60 Minutes...

Happy Friday fight fans!

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