Lionel Messi: What the Hell Is Wrong with You, Boy?

(Photo by Getty Images for adidas)

Dear Lionel Andres Messi,

Podes decirme que carajo te pasa, viejo?

I am someone who cares a lot about football and especially the Argentinian team. The problem here is that it's not about me; it’s about you!

There is no time for talking, praising, and making ads. It’s just time to act and react.

I am just as tired as millions of other people in Argentina are to watch your commercials for Gillette.

I am just fed up with seeing your name in every article, in every language, everywhere.

Enough of hearing you’re the best in the world...This is not Europe, and here you’re simply not the best in your own country, even though we always wanted to see that happen here!

Enough with the comparisons between you and Maradona—you are what you are and he is what we all know he is.

Your people need you more than ever. Wake up and prove to the world that you’re really the best.

So, please, don’t you ever dare let Brazil dance its Samba here; it’s simply not allowed. Show them that, here, we dance the Tango, and no one dances it better than our own people.

Stop playing PlayStation games; we know that you always win...Don’t sweat it much; we need your concentration on the serious upcoming match.

Stop showing your magical tricks. We’ve learned them by heart. What we need is for you to put them in practice.

All the optimal conditions have been gathered together for you: You’re going to play in your town, in front of your family, your friends, even before your ex-primary school teachers. Is there anything more you could you ask for?

Please don’t disappoint us, as you’ve done on occasion in the past. Because when we watch your matches with Barcelona, you seem fantastic. You blow everybody’s mind with your play.

So what’s wrong with you? Maradona and your people love you; your rivals in Brazil and even Pele himself praised you.

I am just asking you one favour: Send us the real Messi who plays in Barcelona—not the cloned one!

We always loved you, but we’ll love you more if you make it against Brazil next Saturday.

If you’re really the golden boy...believe me, it’s time to grow golden balls!

Thank you,

From a diehard fan of Argentina and of the real Messi,

Mohamed.

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