The Chicago White Sox Take a Break from Choking to Blatantly Mock Their Fans

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The Chicago White Sox Take a Break from Choking to Blatantly Mock Their Fans

To the right, you will find a screen grab I just took a few minutes ago from chisox.com.  Its claims and insinuations are so outlandish that you might think it’s doctored. But rest assured, this is exactly as it appeared to any web site visitor as of about 1:45 p.m. CDT.

Please give me a moment, as I must collect myself—and navigate through the tricky emotional ocean of simultaneously wanting to laugh hysterically and cry plaintively—before I will be able to write anything coherent and worthy of your eyes.

(Quick! While I’m composing myself, follow this link to purchase your very own 2009 White Sox playoff tickets!)

Seriously? The only explanation I can come up with is that, for some reason, the White Sox are mad at their fans and lashing out.  Maybe it’s the poor attendance?  Who the hell knows.

But why else would this be the second image in the rotating melange front and center on the White Sox home page?

To go into complete cliche territory here for a second: Playoffs?  Are you f%&*$n#g kidding me?  Playoffs?

Not in 2009.  No, sir.  Not anymore.  No way, no how.

A couple of weeks ago, when the Sox were still hovering a few games over .500 and within a good weekend’s striking distance of Detroit, something like this would be understandable.  "Get your playoff tickets!  Get excited for the stretch run everybody! Jake Peavy! Gordon Beckham! Jake Peavy! Gordon Beckham!"

But over our last 11 eleven games, the White Sox have managed to go 2-100.  I’m not sure how it’s possible…I know the math doesn’t add up…but it’s true. 

We’ve lost 100 games in two weeks.

Or does it just feel that way?

If someone gave me truth serum, I would tell them that when I wrote this post six days ago, I honestly had not totally given up on the team yet. Part of my motivation in writing it, with the season on the brink of slipping away, was a little reverse psychology.

The White Sox always seem to tank whenever I praise them on MSF.  I figured by publicly doubting them, I could reverse that maddening trend.  (I realize this is a ridiculous notion, but I’m obsessed with sports and the White Sox, okay? Give me a break.)

Instead, they’ve lost 75 games in the week since that post was published.

Wait…damn it, sorry…it just feels that way.  I know it’s only been 50 losses in the past week.

Playoffs. You have got to be kidding me.

(And by the way, as I write this, Mark Buehrle is being outdueled 2-0 by perennial Sigh Young candidate Brian Duensing.  The White Sox are teetering dangerously close to another sweep in the Metrodome.  Wait…Scott Linebrink just came in.  Expect a crooked number any second now.)

Ozzie Guillen choke picture

My apologies for the negativity.  You know I don’t like to be this.  You know I always look for the positives in everything.  But these last two weeks of White Sox baseball easily rank in the Top 10 letdowns of my life as a sports fan.  It’s all about expectations, and I legitimately expected this team to make it to the playoffs and have a chance to make some noise.

I never expected that we’d be completely and utterly embarrassed like we have been.

Why am I wasting time ranting like this?  Oh yeah, because the White Sox decided to mock their own fans with their outlandish web site claims of playoff tickets even being a remote possibility. 

And while I actually agree with the moves, based on the team’s performance of late, Ken Williams can gussy up the trades of Jim Thome and Jose Contreras however he wants; he still waved the white flag.

Sadly, I don’t blame him. But maybe he should have informed the guy in charge of managing the web site.

Damn you, White Sox web admin.  Damn you.

Update: My strategy may be working!

Down 2-0 headed into the top of the ninth, the White Sox were facing certain death when Joe Nathan came in to close it out.  But a funny, unexpected thing happened…the Sox exploded for two runs!!!  Wait…just checked again…now three runs!!!  No, four!  And we knocked Nathan out of the game!

Time for Bobby to come in and close this out. Yessss!

Maybe my diabolical plot of reverse psychology will work after all.  So about those playoff tickets…

Update: Sox win! 4-2!  Bobby shuts the door in the ninth.

A team-galvanizing win that could hearken a turnaround…or just a momentary blip in a September of wasted opportunity?  We shall see.

But it does, I’ll admit, feel good to get a comeback win at Minnesota.


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