Fantasy Football 2009's Comatose Sleepers

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Fantasy Football 2009's Comatose Sleepers

NOTE: This article is LONG. Seriously, it's long as in... Michael Crabtree's holdout dispute long. It's long like... Tom Cable's restraining order length long. It's like... okay fine, I'll stop now. That definitely wasn't going anywhere tasteful.

Anyway, I highly suggest printing this all out and reading it someplace where you'll have a lot of time and also won't be disturbed, a la...a bathroom or...a tree house or something along those lines.

The subject of fantasy "sleepers", "super sleepers", and "comatose sleepers" is often a touchy one. For the majority of fantasy players who largely consider themselves "in-the-know", to admit that they aren't aware of any player–no matter how obscure they may be–can often be seen as a cardinal offense. Punishable by scorn even!

Add to this that the actual definition of "sleeper" and "super sleeper" varies greatly from person to person and league to league, and you've got yourself a good old-fashioned natural recipe for drama and vehement insults. Good times!

Regardless, which players are actually classified as sleepers can vary greatly from person to person. For some people, well-known players who're a lock to have fantastic seasons such as Tony Gonzalez are considered a sleeper.

These same people likely play in six to eight team leagues and don't watch much football outside of their localized favorite team. They've likely been given everything they wanted throughout their life and like to keep things as simple and non-complex as possible–no matter how stupid it may sometimes make them seem.

For still others, possible practice-squad bound players such as Lex Hilliard and Julian Edelman are considered sleepers. These people usually play in 12-14 team leagues and watch every single game humanly possible via NFL Sunday Ticket or bootlegged game Internet streams.

They usually like to study all sides of every decision before pulling the trigger and also probably enjoy making lists about the most inane, non-important topics like the best cereals of all-time.

Unless they're married, of course. Then they likely make secret lists in their head about how many different ways they could run far, far away.

Really though, who's to say who's correct and who's not here? Since everyone's definition differs, even the people who consider Tony Gonzalez a sleeper and should by all accounts be beaten upside the head with a baseball bat aren't necessarily "wrong".

Dumb? Yes. Out of touch with reality? Most definitely! But wrong? That's also probably a yes, but from the public relations side of things, maybe-possibly no! Everyone is entitled to their own opinion, even if it makes other people want to bottle said person upside the back of the head whenever they say anything.

But since it would largely take a miracle for Tony Gonzalez to be available past the sixth round–even in a small eight-team league–it really does no one any good going into their own drafts thinking the guy will have a monster season.

There are not many people who are asleep on Tony Gonzalez this year, and if they are, it's probably because they are, LEGIT, actually asleep or something.

In the interests of actually helping some people out in their drafts (or even with waiver/free agent claims if you’ve already had your draft), I’ve decided to put together a list of players who I consider to be “comatose sleepers.”

That is, players who fly under the radar even during conversations about possible sleepers and who also have a realistic shot at breaking out in some way, shape or form this season.

So sit back, buckle up and feel free to curse me out for not writing this several weeks earlier. I had to pay the bills, put food on the table and all of that other uninteresting, grueling stuff we need to do in the fantasy game we all know as life.

If you disagree with my selections in any way though, please don't hesitate to leave a comment that suggests that I have never won a fantasy league title and have absolutely no idea what I'm talking about. Those always turn out to be a good time.

Anyways, the most important thing to remember for this whole thing is to not expect the players listed here to become the next big thing at their respective positions.

All of the players listed in this write-up should be taken with a late-round flier if you agree with my analysis defending why they're worth more than a second look. They could remain on your bench for the entire year while they could just as easily become the glue that cements the mid-season trade offer that pushes you into title contention.

The best way to delve into the following list of players is to do so with an optimistic, upside-minded approach. Despite my analysis for each, you could just as easily argue why all of them shouldn’t be taken whatsoever. The most important thing though, is that you recognize what role each of these players will play–if any–on your (or someone else’s) fantasy team.

Leagues aren’t won by correctly choosing the right player to take with your No. 3 overall pick. Leagues ARE often won with wise, well-informed late round drafting that provides depth and quality backups to be used should injuries or poor seasons arise throughout the season.

This shit’s deep, I know!

All average draft position (ADP) information is for a 12-team league list only.
With all of that all finally out of the way though, let’s get this shizzle started shall we?!

Players have been listed in order by last name with help from our good friend the alphabet. Without further ado:

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