Sexiest Beastly Babe To Win the US Open 2009

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Sexiest Beastly Babe To Win the US Open 2009

Some of the most beautiful, erotic, and artistic bodies burgeon in women's tennis.

In Judith Butler's words, "Bodies [...] Matter," but the Gräfenberg Spot (G-Spot) of tennis women lies elsewhere, in the intersection where their body and racket meet in earnest to produce an orgasmic performance of the consistent accuracy, impromptu selection, rhythm, variety, movement, economy, and execution of shots.

The G-spot lies in being the last woman standing and holding the Grand Slam champion's trophy on the second Sunday of September. That is to be the sexiest beast of the day (one could say beastly sexiest).

I am not imitating Sports Illustrated's "Volley of the Dolls" (where the picture to the left comes from) but, with this cover picture, I am merely trying to signal the discordance between body and tennis, or the improper location of G-spot in women's tennis.

This does not mean that I don't appreciate the aesthetics of digital body art, but I leave that for a more leisurely occasion.

This is a special moment for pondering over the tennis goddesses who will bring her fiercest bestiality to the DecoTurf of Flushing Meadows and will vanquish ALL BODIES (but no tennis) into corpses, pardon my momentary necrophiliac metaphor (I am a hardcore pacifist).

Like the men's draw, the biggest news of the women's draw was that we will not be bored with the lackluster, apparently pre-determined Williams sisters' finals. (This year's Wimbledon final is still fresh in our memory. How many of you had to turn off the TV or watch painfully with a series of yawns?).

Too many stars are crammed into the same first half of the draw: Dinara Safina, Elena Dementieva, Jelena Jankovic, Maria Sharapova, Ana Ivanovic, Caroline Wozniacki, Alona Bondarenko, Sorana Cirstea, and Svetlana Kuznetsova.

The second half is led by the Williams sisters, Victoria Azarenka, Vera Zvonoreva, Agnieszka Radwanska, Flavia Pennetta, Marion Bartoli, Kaia Kanepi, Amelie Maurismo, Sybille Bammer, and Daniela Hantuchova.

What makes this year's US Open special is it is filled with manifold stakes and unpredictability:

1. Serena Williams will be aiming to defend the title and get closer to reclaiming the mantle of No. 1. Maybe Venus steps up, if the younger sister happens to exit early.

2. Dinara Safina will try to answer Serena and shut up the critics who have been questioning her Slamless No. 1 ranking. She has to prove she is the legitimate No. 1.

3. The most consistent veteran of the WTA Elena Dementieva will make every effort to win her first major. She is my favorite.

4. Jelena Jankovic could be the one to win her first major title and match her two fellow Serbians in Slam count (Novak Djokovic and Ana Ivanovic).

5. Maria Sharapova is in something somewhat similar to Rafael Nadal's situation (if we exaggerate a little bit). She is one of those expected to restore order in the WTA, by winning another major title and regaining the top spot in the ranking.

6. Kim Clijsters may not have a lot of hope for the title right away, but she would want to send out a message she will be ready to win another title some time in 2010.

Hopefully, her result will help change Justin Henin's mind to return sooner.

7. Young guns like Sabine Lisiciki, Carolina Wozniacki, Victoria Azarenka, Agnieszka Radwanska, etc. are tired of hearing the WTA is a bigger mess and weaker than ever, so they will be up to proving they are ready to take charge of the field.

(P.S. If you like this article, I'd appreciate if you click the Like button, which is almost invisible and is located below "Begin Slideshow," on the left. Thanks.)

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