In the world of professional wrestling there is no logic or reason. Just about anything can and does happen in this crazy sport, to the outside world, though, it’s just crazy nonsense.
To the rest of us though it makes perfect sense, which is why I decided to put this goofy slide show together showing some of the crazy logic.
The scenarios I am about to show will most likely never happen to us in the real life. In fact, if you attempted them you would probably end up in jail.
I have named this slide show "Only in Pro Wrestling". It only seemed appropriate that it would be given such a title. I hope all of you enjoy, and please feel free to comment.
...can you be mad at someone and settle your differences in the middle of a ring. Somehow, though, after the match the two of you are no longer mad at each other.
It’s as if those 15 minutes in the ring erased your mind completely. If life was like that for real, then the world would be a much better and safer place.
...is it possible to wail someone in the head with a steel chair, and somehow that person can get up.
Now if I ever decided to do this, I would probably be writing this column from a jail cell. I’m also pretty sure there would be a good chance my buddy would be in a hospital.
In pro wrestling, though it’s not only okay to wail on someone with a chair, it is encouraged by the fans.
...can two grown men oil up their bodies and roll around with each other, and this is somehow not gay.
I cant speak for anyone else, but if I'm at the gym and I asked another guy if he wanted to do something like that, I might get some funny looks.
In wrestling, though this is perfectly normal. That is how wars and disputes are solved. This is in no way looked at as weird in the world of pro wrestling.
...can you bury someone alive and have over 30,000 people cheering for you.
I know their are people out there we would love to do this to. It’s only human to have the urge to want to kill someone once and a while.
Sadly, though, society doesn’t accept this, if I got mad at my brother and decided to bury him alive he would not only be dead, but I would be in prison.
In wrestling though somehow the person that gets buried alive not only survives, but is alive and ready to wrestle the next night.
...can you tell someone to SUCK IT, and not get slapped or punched in the face.
I am going to tell ya a little story folks. When I was in my early 20s and I was at the bar with my friends.
I was a little drunk to say the least and I told a woman to SUCK IT, after she was a little rude with me.
Needless to say, I didn't get a whole bar full of people cheering for me. I, in fact, did get slapped in the face and was tossed out of the place.
So remember, kiddies, no one likes it when you point at your crotch and you tell them to SUCK IT!
...can you win a match and force your opponent's lover to become your slave.
You can make any bet you want with anyone you know and these stipulations will never come up. If you attempted to add these stipulations, they would most likely give you a very strange look.
In wrestling, though, it is more than okay to do this, though. In fact, in wrestling you can not only keep them as slaves, but you can also get them pregnant and marry them.
...can you have sex with a dead body, but it is cheered for when you do.
In America it is pretty much okay to enjoy the kinkiest forms of fornication. Whether you’re into leather, whips, chains; it’s all good.
You can also be attracted to the same sex and that is okay also. Last I heard, though, sex with a dead person has still not made it into open society.
This doesn’t apply to wrestlers though. In fact in wrestling you can have a wonderful relationship with the dead. If you don’t believe me, ask Katie Vick, last I heard HHH has an apartment for her on the side.
...is date rape perfectly OK.
I don’t know about you but if I slipped a pill in a young ladies drink and took advantage of her, I would not only be looked at as a scumbag, but I would most likely be arrested.
In wrestling though this is no problem. You can also get them to marry you while they are doped up, and no one will think any less of you.
...can you flip off your boss and attack him without having to deal with any consequences.
I am sure that we have all wanted to tell our bosses what we think of them at one point. It is not that uncommon to despise the person you work for.
I’m pretty sure though if we yelled obscenities ant them and than gave them a stunner. The only push we would be getting is the push out the door.
So if you are ever in one of those moods and the boss is being a pain, do yourself a favor and don’t take a page out of the “How to deal with your Boss" book by Steve Austin.
I hope you enjoyed the slide show. If ya didn't ,then I have two words for ya...