NFL owners unanimously voted to opt-out of the current Collective Bargaining Agreement.
Why?
This eight-question quiz will test your knowledge and clarify the issues.
Maybe...
1. Why is the timing of the opt-out perfect?
a. The NFL is experiencing an unprecedented level of health and success.
b. It had to be done fairly soon—by November 8 of this year.
c. Doing so now allows the owners more time to splinter into factions.
d. What...are you stupid? This is idiotic.
2. The owners view the current CBA as evil because:
a. They don't have to hand out guaranteed contracts.
b. There's a salary cap in place.
c. Ownership can pretty much make any cost-cutting roster move it wants to make in the current environment. It would like to see its hands tied a little more.
d. Revenue sharing is a real bummer to a guy like Jerry Jones—whose team hasn't won a Super Bowl since the year of the "Macarena."
3. Gene Upshaw can best be described as:
a. The NFLPA Union chief.
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b. A real bulldog.
c. "Surprised."
d. Apparently good at e-mail.
4. Fans of professional football couldn't possibly understand the issues at hand because (check all that apply):
a. The NFL and the NFLPA are only haggling over the money we pay them.
b. They're busy doing real, actual work.
c. Too many Saturday football games without protective head gear.
d. Their paychecks don't stretch far enough to pay for the "sports tier" in the current economy. (Hence, no NFL Network.)
5. The party responsible for the current labor situation in the NFL is:
a. The owners. They are greedy.
b. The players. They are greedy.
c. The fans. Who put up with this bullcrap.
d. President Bush. He gets blamed for everything else and is a lame duck anyway.
6. Which of the following factors will put the biggest crimp in the owners' solidarity?
a. Jerry Jones will chastise Mike Brown for not selling the naming rights for Paul Brown Stadium.
b. Al Davis will lose his sunglasses and accuse Pat Bowlen of stealing them.
c. Daniel Snyder will go on an unprecedented free-agent spending spree that will cause Dan Marino, Bruce Smith, and Willie Gault come out of retirement.
d. Roger Goodell will need to use Gene Upshaw's bathroom at some point during the negotiations.
7. If I start training now, is it possible to cross the picket lines as a replacement player for the 2011 season?
a. Umm...maybe?
b. Sure! Go for it, G!
c. I don't know...are you willing to be called Greg "the Scab" Adams?
d. Just keep eating your pizza and hot wings, and leave the replacement playin' to youngsters who are already in shape.
8. Will Keanu Reeves' character Shane Falco be a player or coach in The Replacements sequel—The Replacements II: Hips Included?
a. Coach. Go get 'em, Coach Falco!
b. Player. Go get 'em, Falco!
c. His character's storyline was fully developed during the first movie.
d. Who's Keanu Reeves?
Thank you in participating in the NFL Owners CBA Opt-Out Multiple Choice Quiz!
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3 months ago
Greg-
Will the answers be posted on the bulletin board at the quad, or will I have to log on to the classnotes page to get them?
(Hilarious article. But seriously... who IS Keanu Reeves?)
from 3 months ago
Keanu Reeves...I think I remember him having an excellent adventure and something about a bus, but beyond that, I'm drawing a blank...
3 months ago
Good stuff, Greg! Keep them coming!
3 months ago
Come on! I actually took the quiz, I demand some answers!
You are by far the best writer I've come across on BR-keep up the great work! :D
from 3 months ago
Thanks for the compliment, Christopher. Greatly appreciated.
Oh, and this is one of those "you can't go wrong with 'D' quizzes"--my bad.
from 2 months ago
Haha, I figured as much, no worries :p
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