Back to School: NFL Edition
The school year has reared its ugly head and along with it, the NFL season.
Players are preparing for the grueling season ahead, while students are looking at their calendars to see how long 180 days is.
However, for some NFL players, it seems they need to return to school in order to remember some lessons they have either forgotten or never learned.
Chemistry: Terrell Owens
His history is marred with controversy and the fact that he can't stay with a team for over a year without problems.
This is why Terrell Owens needs a lesson in chemistry.
It's a matter of balancing your needs with the needs of the rest of your team so that you may coincide with one another.
Owens has beaten up on the likes of Jeff Garcia, Donovan McNabb, and Tony Romo, all of whom are experienced Pro Bowl quarterbacks.
Trent Edwards is nowhere near what Garcia, McNabb, and Romo were when the Owens bomb dropped on their teams.
Owens' arrival could help Edwards make a playoff run or it completely destroy Edwards' career before it even begins.
Owens has the ability to succeed anywhere he goes, but his ego and inability to play with others leaves him hopeless when it comes to chemistry.
Gym: JaMarcus Russell
The former Bayou Bengal has seen better days.
After being picked first overall in the 2007 NFL draft, Russell has yet to break out and become an elite NFL quarterback.
Russell's "big" problem came when he entered this year's training camp about 30 pounds overweight.
With Jeff Garcia waiting in the wings, Russell needs to step up his game and return to gym class.
Russell has been a borderline bust and the Raider fan base is just waiting for a reason to kick him to the curb.
The fans want to write off Russell as a loss and they will succeed if Russell can't drop a few pounds and regain the speed he had when the Raiders originally drafted him.
Math: Josh McDaniels
It has only taken Josh McDaniels seven months to single-handedly take a playoff-ready team and turn them into this year's Detroit Lions. McDaniels needs to learn a lesson in basic math.
When an offensive team's franchise quarterback is subtracted from the equation, the team's chance of winning reverts to an absolute zero.
McDaniels is now stuck with Kyle Orton, who has thrown four interceptions in the first two preseason games, and an ostracized Brandon Marshall, who may not even play for the Broncos this year because of the loss of Cutler.
So, for now, McDaniels can only remember the days when all he had to do was call out plays to Tom Brady.
Social Studies: Michael Vick
Vick's social image is already tarnished and after being seen drinking in public—at an airport, no less—Vick needs to learn how to conduct himself in public.
The social dynamic in just about every city doesn't like Michael Vick for his previous convictions, so why does he not feel as if he is walking through a media mine field?
Vick feels comfortable with his surroundings, but he can't even come close to doing something remotely wrong, which is why Tony Dungy is helping the convict.
Vick's ability to keep himself off the 11 o'clock news and on the field will be the deciding factor in his success.
Economics: Giants Front Offfice
Jerry Reese and the rest of the Giants' front office need to learn who to break the bank on in economics class.
Reese and company's biggest "accomplishment" of the offseason came on Aug. 5, when they extended Eli Manning's contract for six years and $97.5 million.
Manning was made the highest paid player in the NFL and the Giants got to keep their franchise quarterback.
But, $97 million on a quarterback whose career passer rating is 76.4? Manning has never been a play maker and is more of a "keep the game in check" quarterback.
Jerry Reese overpaid Manning in what may have been an attempt to draw attention from the team's connection to recently-released Plaxico Burress.
Either way, Reese needs Manning to have an MVP season to prove that the extension was well worth it.
American Government: Plaxico Burress
The former Pro-Bowler turned convict Plaxico Burress has been the subject of this offseason and the poster boy for stupidity.
American government is the easy pick for Burress, who needs to learn about what you can and cannot do.
The Burress situation has finally shown that NFL players don't get special treatment.
While Burress is in jail, he will have time to study up on government and how the law system works.
He shot himself because he chose not to wear a holster and carry an unregistered Glock pistol.
The final part of his jail time will most likely be on house arrest, so hopefully he learns better judgment and makes the right choices in his impending return to the NFL in 2012.
History: Brett Favre
Everyone knows about Brett Favre.
In the offseason he seemed to create his own soap opera and had the entire nation asking, "will he return?"
Favre definitely is in need of a history lesson when it comes to football.
Favre needs to channel his old self and trek the Super Bowl-ready Vikings to their first title. Favre obviously wants one more ring, or else he would be home in Mississippi right now.
The Minnesota Vikings have spent most of their time trying to bring the former Packer out of retirement. When they succeeded on Aug. 19, the Vikings had also succeeded in splitting their camp in two.
Favre will need to prove his worth by studying up on the past and making history repeat itself once again, proving that maybe sometimes people need to return to school so that they can make themselves better.