The Citi(Taxpayer)Field Address

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The Citi(Taxpayer)Field Address
(Photo by Al Bello/Getty Images)

Four Score and Two Years Ago, upon this country of ours, an unassisted triple play was recorded to end a baseball game.  

Our baseball forefathers never expected such ineptitude would ever be replicated, based on the fact that all teams start the season created equal, conceived in Free Agency and wanton spending.

Now we are engaged in one of the most disappointing seasons ever, with injury after insult after injury after insult, testing whether our nation could even endure to watch such a wretched team so conceived, and so dedicated...dedicated to what I don't know.

We are met here at this taxpayer-supported stadium with its overpriced seats and origami-shaped outfield walls.  

We have come to dedicate a portion of this season to the inglorious, anonymous Mets, a resting place for those career minor leaguers on their final stop between Buffalo and baseball oblivion, giving their baseball lives so that the Mets nation might live.

It is altogether fitting and proper that they should do this, as they get their major league minimum salaries.  

But in a larger sense we cannot dedicate (we cannot tolerate) and we can no longer attend these events.  These brave men have struggled here, been injured and overrated, then over matched, far above our poor power to contribute to our team.  

The world will little note, nor remember, what is said here, but it will never forget the horrible play that took place during this inaugural season at CitiField.

It is for us, the troubled Met fan, to be dedicated to this unfinished season of woe and wonder, that our hobbled players trudge on.  

It is for us that this great task continues...that from these injured All-Stars we take increased devotion to the cause for which our hapless troubadours gave their last full measure of devotion...that here highly resolve that our injured players shall not have landed on the DL in vain.

That this team shall have a rebirth next year; and that this team of the people, by the people, and for the people, shall not perish in the shadow of the Bronx.

With apologies to our 16th President.

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