After an awfully interesting week in sports, I believe it's only fair we run down the list and go over all that has happened, for those who may have missed any of the current events.
From Charles Rogers painfully awful interview on SportsCenter, to Brett Favre lighting it up in the preseason, and all other interesting feats.
So sit back, crack open a Busch NA, and enjoy.
Did anyone else see the interview between Jemele Hill and Charles Rogers, former Detroit Lions first round draft pick turned dud?
It seemed to go on forever, as Rogers explained his fall from grace, due mostly to his overwhelming drug use.
The saddest part was Rogers couldn't contain his laughter, chuckling while talking about his marijuana and prescription drug use.
Not that I ever did, but it's hard to feel sorry for someone who doesn't seem very remorseful for their own actions.
It was reported that the other night, while Michael Vick was waiting for a flight at a local airport, he had a cocktail.
Yes, you heard that right, Michael Vick had an alcoholic beverage in public.
Now, I'm not sure about the rules regarding felons, airports, and having a Cosmo. Regardless, people seemed outraged.
I must be missing something. He wasn't doing double-shots with John Daly. He had a drink. I'm pretty sure Vick is 21, so I don't understand what all the fuss is about.
It was reported during last week's practices down in The Swamp that Tim Tebow had sustained a slight back injury during contact drills.
However, if I'm not mistaken, I've heard that Tim Tebow's bones are made of diamonds, and his veins run full of ice.
Tim Tebow pees into the wind, and the wind changes directions.
But I believe Urban Meyer is doing nothing more than playing mind games, as we all know Tim Tebow cannot be injured, so this stunt cannot even be considered a successful one.
Tebow injured? HAH. FICTION.
I don't even know where to begin with this.
The second Michigan State University receiver to be placed in the slideshow, Burress has changed his story for every different suit worn to his respective hearings.
Now Burress said that security guards patted him down, felt the gun, asked to see it, and then let Burress enter the club with his piece on him [I'm sure].
Burress said the reason why he had the gun in the first place was because he didn't feel safe wearing all his jewelry in the club.
Well here's a novel idea. Don't wear the jewelry and then you don't have a need to carry an unregistered hand gun at all times.
But what do I know? Oh that's right, I don't have an exit wound on the back side of my thigh.
Brett Favre was lights out after going 1-for-4 for four yards against the Kansas City Chiefs in the Vikings most recent preseason game.
Minnesota fans are excited because Favre's stand-out performance means Sage Rosenfels won't be starting anymore, which is a relief for everyone involved.
I could be picked out of the crowd and go 1-for-4 for four yards on two drives in a preseason game.
For God's sake, John David Booty even completed 50 percent of his passes that game. What is going on?
Either way, the Vikings will start out 7-1 or 6-2, and in an eerily similar turn as the Jets saw last season, Favre's throwing arm will fall off, and the team will stumble.
The only difference is the NFC North is not the AFC East. And Thomas Jones is not Adrian Peterson.
Another story found hard to believe by the masses— perennial Little League World Series favorites, Japan loses 12-11 to Curacao on a suicide squeeze bunt play.
I think Japan has had a better record in the last 20 years than the old Soviet National Hockey team. The worst part is these kids are either going to be locked in closets, not fed, or may even never be heard from again.
Unfortunate, but that's the price you pay for perfection. Or lack there of.
What else is new? An athlete's Twitter page has blown up and is being covered everywhere.
Michael Beasley is the latest to have this happen.
It has been reported that he checked into a rehab center in Miami on either Saturday or Sunday. He has left statuses about "losin when i win," and how he can't take it anymore.
Maybe he's been listening to a lot of Death Cab and Papa Roach, but either way, you're a professional athlete making millions.
I'll gladly trade lives with you and we can switch places. I'd love to trudge along, dreading my life as an NBA player.
Hope it was as good for you as it was for me.
Todd Bertuzzi back in a Red Wings uniform for one more go?
Let's hope he remembers how to play. Todd Bertuzzi in Vancouver, not Calgary, and minus the temper of Mike Tyson.
Goodnight, and be sure to tip your waitress.