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Padres, Nationals, Twins: Three Teams I Couldn’t Care Less About

ChatterBalksMay 19, 2008

Pictured: Scott Hairston of the San Diego Padres

Every sports fan has at least three teams in every major sport that they are completely apathetic about. They have no real, star power. They’re usually not very talented, and they don’t even have a dirty player that you can hate. In short, they have absolutely no character at all. Here are the three teams that you’d have to pay me to watch.

San Diego Padres 

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As a Dodger fan in Los Angeles, I routinely have the displeasure of seeing Padres games since the Dodgers play them about twenty times a season. I’ll tune in for about two innings until a player like Scott Hairston is up to bat, and by then I’ll have already fallen asleep.

Now that they’ve signed Jody Gerut, I’ve officially been diagnosed with narcolepsy. You could make a case for Peavy, but any noise he makes in the MLB is drowned out by all the yawning from all the other players.

The only thing I can give San Diego is they have the worst (best) fans on Earth. Whether it be the Chargers or the Padres, if you encounter anyone wearing a San Diego hat or jersey, they are guaranteed to be a grade-A douche bag that you love to hate.

Washington Nationals

Remember the beginning of their first season when they actually looked like they’d be a decent team, and everyone stated buying their hats to jump on the bandwagon early? Well, all those fairweather fans have moved onto ruining other MLB teams' (Red Sox) images and have completely forgotten about the Nats. The Nats' biggest star, Ryan Zimmerman, is hitting .245 right now and is showing everyone why his AAU coaches sat him so David Wright could play: he sucks.

The Nats also hold the title of “Most Bland Uniform” in all of sports. The least they could do is a get a third jersey like the Padres, with their ghastly camouflage ones. At least then I could be entertained by making fun of those.

Minnesota Twins 

Livan Hernandez is their No. 1 starter. I could stop right there and that would be enough reason to completely disregard this team all season, but I’ll continue for the sake of comedy. They traded away their best pitcher/player (maybe top five all time) for a whole truck-load of Mets garbage. It’s like the Twin’s GM Bill Smith is a bizarro version of Billy Beane, who instead of trading for unknown diamonds-in-the-rough, Smith can only pick up over-hyped versions of Juan Pierre.

If you thought that scouting was the only sign of Twins' ineptitude, think again. They’re building a new outdoor stadium. In Minnesota; arguably the coldest place in America. I guess it shouldn’t be too big of a issue since the Twins won’t make it past September until global warming will have solved that problem.

What teams are on your list?

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