Bob Davidson didn’t realize that his reversal of Mets’ former slugger/current player Carlos Delgado’s three-run jack would change the course of baseball history.
“I already (expletive) apologized. I feel (expletive) awful,” a reticent, potty-mouthed Davidson lamented.
Don’t (expletive) worry, Bob. Major League Baseball’s got your back. Sort of.
While some media outlets thought that re-instituting instant replay would have been a more logical reaction to the blown call, Commissioner Bud Selig one-upped the entire sports world.
“Carlos Delgado will be granted half a home run for his effort...and 1.5 RBI.”
For those of you scoring at home, that means that the Mets put a Sunday night beat-down on the Yankees by the score of 12.5-2. Not 11-2.
Today's Must Reads
Vegas odds makers weren’t sure what the decision meant for them.
Cy Schmuckner, a Vegas odds maker, had this to say: “It’s hawd enough to handicap basebawl bets when you dealin’ wit whole runs. Now we gotsta deal wit half runs? Da whole thing gives me da runs…”
Bud Selig defended the move.
“Listen, I’ve been accused of complacency in not dealing with the steroid mess—er, allegations of steroid use—and then allowing the All-Star Game to end in a tie. Then I was accused of overreacting to the tie by tying the All-Star Game winner to home-field advantage in the World Series. My hands, I felt, were tied.”
“It was time to act swiftly and sensibly.”
For Carlos Delgado, the Commissioner’s decision brought more questions than answers.
“What if I end my career with 499.5 home runs? What if I have 499.5 home runs and I hit another ball that ends up in a blown call? Do I want my 500th homer to be declared after the fact?”
“Do I get two asterisks next to my name in the record book? One for the two ‘half homers’ I hit and one for the illegitimate 500th homer? All because Davidson (expletive) up?”
Delgado now has 6.5 home runs and 20.5 RBI on the season.
When asked what he ultimately thought of Selig’s decision, Delgado didn’t even flinch.
“It was a half (expletive) effort by a half-pint (expletive).”
comments (25) write a comment »
write a new comment
3 months ago
Hilarious!
from 3 months ago
Glad you (expetive) enjoyed it, Nate.
3 months ago
Great article. Was watching this when it happened and couldnt believe how badly they blew the call. Plus, the first ump had it right to begin with.
from 3 months ago
I still don't know what was the bigger shock: the blown call or the UMPIRE APOLOGY. One thing's for sure: Davidson AND MLB are both counting their lucky stars that the game wasn't even close.
3 months ago
Does this mean that we can start subtracting a percentage of Barry Bonds career home runs during the times that he was most likely using steroids. Like subtract 33% of his total HRs from each season.
Then we can go even further.
Subtract between 5-10% of players HRs when they are hit during a day game at a pre-determined hitters ballpark. Another 5% for all HRs hit all relief pitchers that have spent some part of the season in the minor leagues.
Then add between 5-10% to players total HRs when they hit a one in a night game at a pre-determined pitchers ballpark. Add another 5% for HRs that are hit off of starting pitchers that have winning records or an ERA under 4.00 for the season.
I'm going to stop there, but I got more of these if you want.
from 3 months ago
I'm sure Selig's got his guy crunching those numbers right now, Matthew!
3 months ago
thats stupid! if the umpire apologized and ADMITED TO THE BLOWN CALL! delgado should get his homerun not a .5 crap.....good article
from 3 months ago
Yeah, the blown call coupled with the apology was like a slap in the face. If I'm Delgado, I would rather the ump thought he was right and defended the call till he went to his grave.
3 months ago
Forget Selig finding a guy, I want to be that guy. Let me be the number cruncher. With as many players, supposedly, involved in steroids, home run totals, and all the other statistical ways you could break it down, bet that plays pretty well.
from 3 months ago
Sorry, Matthew. Contacted MLB. They got a guy. Name's Mortimer. He's 93 years-old, roots for the St. Louis Browns and is incontinent. Uses a 1984 Comodore to crunch the numbers you speak of and prints results on a dot matrix printer.
Bud's secretary, a Mr. McGwire, tells me that Mr. Selig figures the Steroid Era's statistical adjustments should be complete circa 2041.
Mort might be seeking an intern, though.
3 months ago
So what happens the next time an umpire blows a ground rule double call? Should the runner just stand between first and second base on the next play? Or should we charge the pitcher with half a strike?
from 3 months ago
I'm thinking a ghost runner would be employed in this situation. But only if the ump apologizes.
3 months ago
Awesome stuff, Greg! You're one of the funniest writers I know!
3 months ago
wow, does it really matter? the mets crushed them anyway. It's not like delgados going to have a shot at being the homerun king. I know it was a bad call, but really...
from 3 months ago
Most folks were using the incident as an example of why MLB should employ instant replay, which makes sense. MLB generally does things that don't make sense (sending a former U.S. Congressman from coast to coast to investigate a problem MLB didn't want to deal with in the first place, tying homefield advantage for the World Series to a meaningless midsummer exhibition)...you get the point.
Hence, the half a home run. The opposite of what should happen as a result of the incident.
3 months ago
Very good article. I was watching the game with Ray from my horseracing article when that happened...
3 months ago
Mortimer, you say, yeah I got to meet that guy. He showed me some old pieces of legal paper when he first started recording numbers, he used a pencil, still uses a pencil. I asked what happens if something gets erased, he said he remembers everything. For some reason, I believe him.
As for the intern job, can you find out for me if that's a paid intern or not?
from 3 months ago
Well it's MLB, so they have the money...but they've whizzed it away. Something about having to cover George Mitchell's excessive bar tab from that little investigation of his...
from 3 months ago
Hey I'm not above taking bribes from the Players Association, Major League teams, and/or certain players that need the increase/decrease in their numbers.
If not money, a new truck, best buy gift card, starbucks, or new under armour gear...that works for me.
3 months ago
That is a GREAT attitude, Matthew. Okay...YOU'RE IN!
A Mr. McGwire will be contacting you shortly in the form of a Nigerian e-mail scam...
3 months ago
I got that, but that thing was weird. It said that I had won a $4 million lottery from the 2010 World Cup in South Africa. Hope they are not related.
By the way, do you know kind of beer and brand of cigars that Babe Ruth had during games, it really will make a difference in the number of Home Runs added to his career total.
from 3 months ago
Cuban stogeys and he brewed his own.
And actually, in light of what the Babe did to himself, you might want to ADD some HR's to his totals!
3 months ago
Oh no that is my intent to add HRs to the Babe's totals. Working on a formula right now that will add a percentage based on the games he pitched in.
Also thinking that since he would drink during a day game, it is less likely that he had a full meal to eat, so I need to add even more for the likelihood that his blood alcohol level was above 0.08
3 months ago
umpires are supposed to suck though....thats how baseball is..you have a crappy call and then you pull a lou penela and kick dirt and turn all red, and then get tossed! thats the fun part of baseball
from 3 months ago
Hey there's no reason why we can't still have that. Heck, after all the dirt kicking is done, the manager and the ump can go review the manager's performance.
Everybody's happy.
write a new comment