Fantasy Football: Bruno Boys Ziza Sounding Off

Michael WhooleySenior Writer IAugust 23, 2009

SAN FRANCISCO - AUGUST 22:  Head coach Tom Cable of the Oakland Raiders looks on against the San Francisco 49ers during a preseason game on August 22, 2009 at Candlestick Park in San Francisco, California.  (Photo by Jed Jacobsohn/Getty Images)

With the season closing in on us, there is tension in the air.  Just ask Tom Cable, who beat the hell out of his assistant and Al Davis suck-up Randy Hanson.  There is a ton of news rolling through the sport that they call the National Football League, which is a good thing because otherwise I may be out of a gig.  So gear up, Bruno Boys Nation, as I take you through a week of news the only way I know how—Bruno Boys Ziza style.

News: Speculation has it that the Oakland Raiders owner, Al Davis, has been having Randy Hanson report behind the coaches and players’ backs; in other words, he was acting as Al Davis’ personal mole.  The gig came to a heated debate as head coach Tom Cable’s fist met Hanson’s jaw and throat.  Felony charges may result.

Ziza Sounding Off: Congrats to the passion that Cable showed by trying to put a stop to this.  Unfortunately, he went about it the wrong way.  Instead of beating the hell out of Hanson, he should have just had some of his peeps on the outside take care of the job for him.  That way, Cable could focus his attention towards making RB Darren McFadden one of the elite backs in the league. 

As a fantasy footballer, it was great to hear that Cable wanted to get the pigskin in McFadden’s hands at least 20 times a game.  It will be interesting to see how everything unfolds because McFadden’s value was expected to skyrocket this year.  I completely understand why you were completely pissed off, Mr. Cable, but next time make sure it is someone else beating the hell out of Mr. Davis's errand boy.

News: Brandon Marshall is barking up a storm once again, showing his teeth and growling at the organization.  This very well could be the reason that he was left in Denver instead of being able to play in this week’s preseason game.

Ziza Sounding Off: All right, Brandon Marshall, it is time to just shut the heck up and play.  Word on the street is that your health is no longer a concern, so instead of being held back in Denver for those reasons, odds are your team just did not want you to be a distraction as they prepare for the season.

Do you realize that if you would just be quiet and keep that money shredder closed things would go much smoother?  No one feels for you Marshall—NO ONE! 

You are paid more than most people in the world, you signed the contract, and now, all of a sudden, you are whining more than my daughters when they can’t get what they want.  If they were still young enough to be sucking on a pacifier, I would let you borrow one. Since they aren’t, I will just give the Bruno Boys Nation some advice.  If there is similar talent on the board, avoid Marshall and let him be someone else’s problem.  While he can dominate in any given week, his attitude is very cumbersome and could result in issues that you just don’t want from your WR1.

News: The Washington Redskins’ Ladell Betts will be stealing the third down carries from Clinton Portis this season.

Ziza Sounding Off: We all knew that this day was coming.  Ladell Betts is having a great camp and with Clinton Portis having been used so much in the last handful of years this is a great way to keep Portis healthy while giving the running game a boost, as Betts will be an excellent set of fresh legs throughout the season.  But, let’s not just take it as a black-and-white accepted truth, because there is plenty of gray here.

Portis and the organization have not seen eye to eye for a while now and this very well could also be a stage to see if Betts can handle more and more of the workload, possibly pushing Portis from the Washington Redskins after the season.  With this news, downgrade Portis to a lower-end RB2 while pushing Betts into a RB3 status.

News: Tennessee Titans’ WR Chris Davis was popped for a DUI during the early morning hours this past week.  He is a 2007 draft pick of the Titans and was vying for a spot on this years roster.

Ziza Sounding Off: You dumb, ignorant, wanna work at (plug in any regular job that most of us perform) idiot.  While you were never in danger of making a sound in the fantasy football world, you still had a great opportunity to have an excellent life.  That is the end of this discussion as you don’t deserve any more space in this column.

Sound Off Roundup: So what have we learned this week?  First of all, when you hold a prominent position in the NFL such as Tom Cable does, make sure you get one of your boys to teach your nemesis a lesson.  Because now he has all of us fantasy ballers out here wondering how will this affect Darren McFadden in the fantasy drafts.  Selfish, Cable, selfish!

We also have learned that when your ego eclipses your huge talent you will be stuck at the kitchen table watching as your teammates board a plane.  Brandon Marshall, one piece of advice: you have only half the talent of my Detroit Lions’ Calvin Johnson, yet he doesn’t act like a kid.  You should take a lesson from him.

To piggy back off of Marshall’s complaining, Clinton Portis vs. the Washington Redskins has resulted in decreased playing time.  While Portis has been much more professional about how he has gone about his trade demands, it does go to show that NFL teams are starting to stand up for themselves.  That is a good thing.

And, last but not least, we have learned that Chris Davis will be the one serving you at your next stop to Wendy’s.