The Return of the Greatest Wrestling Rumor Mill Ever (Humor)

It's been a while, but I'm back with another installation of the only rumors you should ever believe.

Everyone should know that the fans clamor for only one rumor mill around here. Those who think my rumor mill isn't heavily sought after also believe that the Mean Street Posse was the greatest stable in wrestling history.

Ring of Honor (ROH)

• For those who haven't heard, ROH has moved its show to Monday nights. It was either get off of Saturday nights or get off HDnet and broadcast on PBS after Arthur re-runs. 
• Now that Michael Vick is back in the NFL, PETA is leading a charge to get announcer Mike Hogewood to stop using his catchphrase "Slap the porpoise." They rather him incorporate something to go along with their new campaign.
• Vince McMahon is upset that ROH has moved to Monday nights and vows to raid the company of its talent. He's also upset at the fact that the company includes the word honor in its name. "Everyone knows there's no honor in wrestling," said McMahon in an interview. "Has Nov. 9, 1997, not taught us that?"

Total Nonstop Action (TNA)

• This past iMPACT showed AJ Styles tearing up as he told those in attendance that he was walking away from wrestling. For those wondering how he cried on cue, he simply thought of how irrelevant TNA has made him over the past several months.
  
• TNA has beaten the WWE in ratings over in the United Kingdom for the past few weeks in a row. If this continues for another 80 weeks or so, TNA officials plan to give away the results of a Smackdown! main event on air.
  
• The Knockouts are getting their own tag titles to contend for. Word going around is Russo plans on figuring out a way for Raisha Saeed and Alissa Flash to win the titles. 
• Spike has signed TNA to a three-year contract extension. Jeff Jarrett was said to be grateful as he now has extra time to figure out how to completely destroy what he built. 
• Don West was removed from the announce table and "promoted" to head up TNA's marketing team. The first major item West will try to sell is Kurt Angle's sanity.
• Rhaka Khan wasn't the only one to file a PFA (protection from abuse) in TNA. It's been said that TNA management has filed one on the entire talent pool under the age of 40, hence the world title staying in the hands of Kurt Angle.
  

World Wrestling Entertainment (WWE)

• John Cena was booed this week as he threw out the first pitch at a Chicago Cubs v. LA Dodgers game. Fans booed because the pitch wasn't very good. In an interview after the game, Cena had this to say: "I'm not sure why they are upset. If they've seen me in the ring and heard my rap album, they should know I'm not very good at anything."
• Possible RAW guest hosts include: Miley Cyrus, the cast of iCarly, and the Jonas Brothers. The WWE is also in talks to try their first CGI hosting duties with either the VeggieTales, or The Backyardigans. 
• In the new Final Destination movie, fans will see a familiar face in on of the victims, as Chavo Guerrero's legacy meets a gruesome end.
• Linda McMahon is considering running for the U.S. Senate. If she does decide to go for the position, Vince is contemplating blowing her up during one of the corporate meetings as a way to write her off from her CEO position.
  

Shane Howard is a member of Hit the Ropes Radio Show. You can check out the web site here. HTR Radio airs every Wednesday at 6 PM ET. The newest addition to TNA, the Black Pope, D'Angelo Dinero (formerly Elijah Burke) returns to HTR.

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