In light of one of the best times of year being right around the corner, I've decided to compile a list of the top five most annoying college football fans. This task was an exercise in futility, as it is nearly impossible to pick only five.
I've narrowed it down to the best I could from my own personal experiences and opinions.
First, the honorable mentions...
Every Florida school: The state of Florida is a polished turd. You have old people, rednecks, and a history of providing the country with a stock of sick football players.
If you own an unlicensed weapon, you probably go to Miami. If you enjoy helping yourself to other student's test scores, you probably would like FSU. If you're a sick athlete superstar but claim abstinence, Florida is the place for you. Annoying indeed!
WE ARE...PENN STATE!!! THANK YOU...YOU'RE WELCOME!!! Enough said...
F-USC...I hate you so much I don't even want to include you on my top five most annoying fans. I can almost with near certainty claim I probably have not received any compensation for you being on my list...so here you are.
Yes, that is correct—the faithful Irish. To be only fair, as much as it pains me, I must include us on this list. We are annoying' there's no way around it.
We're either old crusty fart curmudgeon white guys or, well, that's about it. We believe that Jesus himself has deemed our team national champions year in and year out. Hell, George O'Leary was the second coming for about a minute!
I attempt to at least not be so outwardly annoying and hope that the team I love will prove it on the field every Saturday.
Living in the D.C. area for an unfortunately large portion of my life, I've come to realize these nerds have probably figured out some equation to ultimately breed out any other sports fan in the mid-Atlantic area. They are EVERYWHERE!
They are loud, obnoxious, and believe their overrated, over-ranked football team will one day win a NC. Hokie = annoyance!
It is natural that these two be lumped together. While I have seemingly a vested interest in the demise of RichRod and Michigan football, I could stand to see both programs suffer a couple more 3-9 seasons.
For all I care, they can play the greatest rivalry in history over and over 12 weeks in a row. O-HI-O!!! GO BIG BLUE!!!
At least Hokies are somewhat contained to a three-state radius. These clowns are all over the world!
Truly, I could put nearly the entire Southeastern Conference on this list, but for the sake of brevity, I chose the most annoying, in recent years anyways.
Somehow “the Mad Hatter” lunch-boxed his way into a national championship a couple years ago and can now walk on the murky swamp water in the Bayou.
Although I have no proof of any evidence, I'm convinced that guy is dirty. Regardless, he's annoying, “Death Valley” is annoying, and the Bayou Bengals nickname is annoying, as well as adding -eaux in lieu of -o on words. I wish they would just geaux away!
The state of Texas has arguably the best football from Pop Warner through college. Texas believes they are the best in the country regardless of polls, bowls, or any games, for that matter.
Whether it's a hit on Colt McCoy or supposedly getting screwed out of a three-way tie, we will hear it from Texas fans.
They are generally the whiniest fans I've seen (not counting the few in the family, of course!). They believe in fairness and opportunity for all—who would like to be ranked 2-25, that is.
Tceh, on the other hand, is a different story. These folks are comprised mostly of kids who could not get into UT or A&M and did not want to live in Waco or El Paso. They throw tortillas at opposing fans and players. Who does that?!?
Their constant bell-ringing is amongst the most annoying sounds in the world. I would give them a slight edge in the tie because they are spoilers for OU and UT except for the fact they pwn the Ags every year, dammit.
Guns up and Hook-em!!! Tceh tards and t-sips...annnnnoying!