The 10 Most Absurd Little League Moments In Movie History
Some of the most inspirational moments can come from kids playing sports, because it's just an innocent love of the game that drives them.
That sort of thing is ripe for the picking by Hollywood who have churned out plenty of kids sports movies over the years. However, we all know that Hollywood has a tendency to go overboard and make things just a little too unbelievable.
This is a salute to those moments. The 10 Most Absurd Little League Moments In Movie History.
The Sandlot - Just Stick Your Glove Out
The Sandlot is still one of my favorite movies of all time, and I know that it's pretty much considered sacrilege to question it in any way, but I have to call shenanigans on one part if particular.
I know Benny was a legend, but the scene where he tells Smalls to just stick his glove out and he'll take care of the rest is just plain ludicrous. Not even a pro could pull off that feat. At best Smalls would have ended up with another black eye.
I'm expected to believe that Benny not only pinpointed the very spot he would hit the ball, but that the very act of catching a ball in which he didn't even do anything completely transformed Smalls into a legit baseball player?
I don't think so.
D2: The Mighty Ducks - The Knucklepuck
You tried the knucklepuck as a kid. Don't lie to me. The only problem was, it didn't do the same thing as it did in the movie. What a disappointment.
The actual effectiveness of said knucklepuck aside, the way it was pulled out in the championship game in D2 was nothing short of absurd.
The kid is disguised as the goalie, skates out to the center ice, then unleashes the knucklepuck for the score. The only problem is, there's a solid 17 seconds between when he reveals himself and when he shoots.
No team, I don't care how bad they are, would take 17 seconds to react to something like that, especially when there's suddenly no goalie.
Little Giants - Goal Line Stand
Ah, Little Giants, such an underrated sports movie.
Still, it was a kids sports movie, so that means there has to be at least one completely improbable part, prefereably near the end.
I'm going with the goal line stand. First of all, if you watch the tape (which I did), the Giants only stopped the Cowboys on three plays after a huge gain which should have resulted in a first down. So the Cowboys would have had one play left.
Ignoring that, I find it hard to believe that Spike, who looked to be about a freshman in college, got stopped by Icebox, no matter how much heart she had. That just doesn't happen.
The most improbable part of the movie, though? That Icebox would grow up to look like this.
3 Ninjas - The Basketball Scene
This may be the most awesomely bad scene in the history of cinema.
I loved this movie as a kid and I still do, but now just for the unintentional comedy. At the end of the movie, now with cool ninja skills, the two brothers play a heated game of basketball against a couple of bullies.
In a game to 10, they spot the bullies 9. Awesome. Then each play is more absurd than the last.
It starts off with a giant block that was not only physically impossible, but most likely goaltending. Then there's a no-look, over the head shot. Then an alley-oop. Then mini Jamie Lee Curtis hits a layup while getting laid out.
The best part, though, comes at the end when Rocky ends the game by dunking from the three-point line. I love it.
Rookie of the Year - Float It
Let's go ahead and suspend disbelief for this movie. A kid breaks his arm and when it heals the tendons are so tight that it allows him to throw 100 mph fastballs. I can buy that. Hell, I already bought that as a kid.
What I can't buy, however, is the last part of this movie. After Henry falls and "fixes" him arm so that he can't throw the heat anymore, he still has to get out of the inning. Of course, they couldn't bring in a reliever or anything.
For the last batter, Henry has to face the most dangerous batter in baseball. With one strike to go and no idea what to do, he tears off the tape on his glove, only to discover that it was his mom who was the ballplayer before, not his dad. She urges him to "float it" which he does and somehow gets the strikeout.
As funny as this scene was to rewatch, I'm pretty sure the reenactment of it by these guys in the video below is even funnier.
The Karate Kid - The Crane Kick
The crane kick? Really? You're going to fall for that in the deciding fight? Come on.
If you see someone going up like that, the last thing you're going to do is go running at him, face exposed, begging to be kicked in.
What's even more absurd than the kick to the face to end it (which would have been against the rules BTW), was that the guy who was a jerk the whole movie suddenly is handing Daniel-San the trophy and saying he's alright. That was the quickest turnaround in movie history.
The Mighty Ducks - Fulton's Slap Shot
If kids sports movies have taught us anything, it's that every once in a while a bad team will come across a player with a ridiculous talent that nobody else has ever heard of. That player will eventually help them win a championship.
Fulton Reed was that character in The Mighty Ducks. What's more absurd than a kid having the greatest slap shot in history is that kid practicing his slap shot in a back alley with hockey gloves and everything.
I'm sure that happens all the time. Want to find the next Wayne Gretzky? Just check the streets.
The Big Green - Final Penalty Kick
Besides Steve Guttenberg's ridiculous attempt at a southern accent, the most absurd part of The Big Green would have to be the final penalty kick.
The general strategy for penalty kicks is to begin and end with your two best players. You want one to get you off on the right foot (so to speak) and one that will close the door guaranteed.
Instead, they decided to go with the smallest guy on the team who probably shouldn't have been kicking in the first place. I know, I know, it adds to the drama, but come on. That's never the guy you want deciding a championship game.
Like Mike - Any Time Little Bow Wow Dunks
I get it. Bow Wow has these magical shoes that allow him to play like Michael Jordan. However, I don't seem to remember Jordan doing things like playing one-on-one and throwing the ball of the backboard then jumping from beyond the free throw line to catch it and throw it down.
Just look at that picture. Check out this trailer. It doesn't get much more absurd than that.
I don't care what kind of magical basketball powers that kid has, I'm backing him down and schooling him in the post. He's 4'8, tops.
Any Part In Any Air Bud Movie
Oh look, the dog has sneakers. And he can make a basket by bouncing the ball off of his nose. We should have him play basketball. Nobody will ever figure out how to guard that!
And surprise, surprise. The dog can catch a ball. That makes him so different from every other dog in the world. Let's have him play football. I'm sure there are no rules against that.
I could go on, but believe it or not, it gets a little redundant.
"Will somebody cover that dog?!?!"
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