My Bleacher Report Pact: No More NFL Offseason
The NFL is a crazy place. This much we know. The 2009 off-season tells us as much.
We've had a Falcon escaping jail, this time without his snowman. We've had a Titan taken before his time. A Giant turned into Cheddar Bob and found himself with two years of prison time. And last but not least, we've seen the "King of Cheese"-cum-"King of New York" become the most hated man in any state dealing primarily in dairy products.
This is what happens when you take the most physically dominating men on the planet, train them for destruction, and then tell them to take some time off.
To keep up with the all too tired war metaphor, it would be Caesar training gladiators and then telling them to work the night shift at Dairy Queen.
The most savagely glorious part of this inglorious mess is that none of this matters once the season begins.
So in keeping up with the nature of things, from this point on, I propose a pact with my esteemed colleagues of B/R. It's guidelines are simple:
Henceforth, unless your article is a partaking endeavor centering around trades,trade rumors, position battles, or things of the ilk, all discussion of the NFL Off-Season shall be punishable by death.
That's right, death.
So if your life's mission is to be as dedicated a writer as you are a football fan, if you wake up two hours early before games to get " mentally prepared", if you sweet smell of opening day has become saccharin due to the media slandering of athletes, if you believe losing 130 million dollars is suffering enough, then please...
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