If The Big East Were...

(Photo by Brian Bahr/Getty Images)

• ...a legitimate football conference, it would not have lost its affiliation with the sixth oldest bowl.
• ...a legitimate football conference, I wouldn't have to explain that the Gator Bowl wanted the Big East out, so they got the Big XII involved and gave The Big East no choice, therefore losing its affiliation. (call it what you wish; the Gator Bowl was in control the entire way.)
• ...based in reality, it would realize that the Champs Sports Bowl, which may as well be the Champs d'Elysees Bowl and played on that tony Paris avenue, is a trade down, no matter how much lipstick you put on that hockey mom. (thank you, Sarah Palin.)
• ...Bob Knight—wait, the Big East is Bob Knight in that its glory is history.
• ...represented in the USA Today FBS Top 25 preseason poll, that would be new information to me. (the Big East is the only Bowl Championship Series conference left out.)
• ...able to make me any angrier, I the lifelong West Virginia fan would pop an artery.
• ...to have a future, it's going to need four new members (like raid C-USA again) and possibly accept non-BCS status.
• ...any deeper in a dream world, the conference would actually think its inclusion in the long-term plans of the Bowl Championship Series or any future form thereof is certain.
• ...to think its second-place finisher would be preferred by the Champs Bowl over Notre Dame, you'd have to call the conference completely crazier than the werewolves of London.
• ...to ask me to find one good reason to be excited about the Champs Sports Bowl, it would be this: at least West Virginia would still have a chance to play in Florida, where we have a great recruiting presence.
• ...to think I won't get any hate mail over this one, then write me and try to tell me that the Champs Sports Bowl is better than the Gator Bowl, no matter who the sponsor is. 

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