SF Giants Finally Take One From the Dodgers Despite The Umps' Pathetic Efforts

Although what follows will lead many readers to the contrary, I'm actually sympathetic to Major League Baseball's umpiring collective. They don't get paid the big scratch to do their job yet they can often catch as much heat as the millionaire athletes they scrutinize.

More importantly, the average umpire gets the vast majority of his calls right on the money and has a consistent strike zone.

Additionally, they are human. Like the rest of us, baseball's boys in blue are entitled to the occasional rough day on the job.

To put a personal spin on a Paul Mooney special—that's what you call a preemptive Sammy Davis cleanup. With it in the open, awaaay we go...

Bill Hohn (last three paragraphs), Paul Emmel, Gary Darling, and Todd Tichenor should all be embarrassed today. And tomorrow. And the day after and for many more.

It doesn't matter who was where at what time because, when you obscenely blunder through as many calls as this tetrad did in three games, you take the hit together.  All for one and one for all, blah, blah, blah.

Their performances during the San Francisco Giants' make-or-almost-break series against the Los Angeles Dodgers were nothing short of abysmal. It is only by the graces of the Baseball Gods that the quartet doesn't have a sweltering, public interrogation light over their sweating domes.

The five or six egregious errors by the umps didn't ultimately change the outcome of any of the trio—the forehead-slappers in the first two games were merely smallish stones plunked into a torrential Dodger onslaught and the Gents shook off the eyesores in the finale to win.

But the happy ending doesn't excuse the paid professionals in my eyes.

Forget the duo of Dodger wins—I don't want to gripe about them because, although there were horrendous calls in both, they had almost zero impact on the Bum victories. I don't want to sound like sour grapes, like I'm trying to detract from them—Los Angeles needed no help dispatching our guys so that they got some is irrelevant.

Besides, there was enough brutality in Wednesday's game to get my point across. The taut, extra-inning affair makes a better vehicle anyway. There were five particular calls that deserve attention:

1. A pick-off of Manny Ramirez from Bengie Molina that was called correctly despite the ball easily beating the sluggish slugger to the bag. First baseman Travis Ishikawa missed the tag and Ramirez flicked his hand in safely.

This one got Bruce Bochy his second gate of the series although first base umpire Gary Darling got it right.

2. This actually counts as No. 3 as well since it consists of a potential double play the umps finally got half-correct after trying to blow the entire thing.

Nate Schierholtz (who can fly) hit a slow bouncer in front of Pablo Sandoval, who was going from first to second. Dodger second baseman du jour, Juan Castro, fielded the bouncer and awkwardly tagged Sandoval before throwing to first.

I believe second base ump Tichenor called Little Money out despite Castro tagging him with an empty glove while holding the pearl in his bare hand. Fortunately, Darling saved his bacon and called Sandoval safe.

Unfortunately, Darling absolutely butchered the call at first as Schierholtz CLEARLY beat the throw. I was at the game and, while most of AT&T Park was rejoicing at Little Panda's "acrobatics," I was watching the stadium monitors because I thought it was obvious from my seat Nate the Great outran the play.

It was. With the naked eye at real speed and via video in slo-mo.

4. Another close pick-off that went the Bums' way. I forget who it was—either Andre Ethier or James Loney—but he was safe and Darling got it right. For the Dodgers. Yet again.

5. This is the biggie.

Top of the ninth and Tim Lincecum was putting the finishing strokes on another scintillating, complete game opus. The Freak retired the first batter and induced another weak grounder from Rafael Furcal, who can pick 'em up and put 'em down with the best.

Juan Uribe charged the ball, made an incredibly smooth snag of a grotesque tweener hop, fired to first, and got Furcal by a half-step. Again, I saw this from my seat in the lower box, back under the shade along the third base line i.e. across the diamond.

Gary Darling, standing right next to the play, went against two of his five senses and called the Bum shortstop safe.

Exit bench coach and acting manager Ron Wotus, right on Wot. My only regret is nobody uprooted any bases or kicked any dirt on an umpire.

Furcal came around to score the tying run and cost Lincecum a gem he deserved to win. On the bright side, it gave my pops and I a chance to see our first walk-off homer in person.

Thank you, Juan Uribe.

Understand, these are only five specific examples.

There were other bang-bang plays the blues nailed perfectly (like on the back-end of a Freddy Sanchez twin-killing, for instance). For the Dodgers.

Over the course of three games IN SAN FRANCISCO, I'd say there were at least 10 calls that either could have or should have gone to the homestanding Giants, and they got an infuriating bagel.

In their supposedly friendly confines.

I guess normal baseball etiquette goes out the window when the big dollar dream with two of the biggest market transplants come to town.

Hey, I get the Show's front office wants to see the Dodgers take either Joe Torre back to New York for a World Series against the Yankees or Manny Ramirez back to Boston for the same against the Red Sox. But do we really have to start orchestrating it in August?

I mean, damn.

Los Gigantes already had the deck stacked against them by sending the back end of their rotation to the bump in the opening pair of contests. Not only that, the Dodgers do lead the National League West with one of the most balanced squads in the Bigs.

Neither team needed the interference of four hitmen from the big money suits.

I'm kidding...kind of.

No, in all honesty, I'm not a conspiracy theory guy. I have no idea why the umpires kept seeing every close play go the Dodgers' way in the Giants' home. But that's certainly what happened.

That's why Boch got run twice and Ron Wotus was moved to passionate sacrifice.

Worse, you better believe some of the fifth-inning fracas is on those four inept umpires.

You blow call after call in a blood rivalry and you run the risk of another spark setting of the residual frustration. Especially when you keep giving the metaphoric middle finger to the home club.

Lord knows what would've happened had the San Francisco Giants not bounced back from Darling's attempted coup-de-grace.

There's a decent chance the umps would've been lucky to escape unscathed.

And I would've spent a warm night in jail.

Like I said, thank you Juan Uribe.

**www.pva.org**

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