A Patriots Fan Demands FULL Spygate Investigation

That's right.

I am a big Patriots fan. I fully support my team in every way. 

Yet, "Spygate" embarrasses and upsets me.  And I demand that it fully, completely, and independently be investigated!

Even the Patriot-haters will agree with that, right? 

Those who refer to "Belicheat" and the "Cheatriots" and all that would certainly support my stance, right? 

We know Arlen Spector would appear to be on board with this as well.

There's only one thing.

We don't completely agree.

You see, I don't want a witch hunt. I don't want to pile on and focus on one team.

I want to investigate the video departments and overall ethics of every team in the league.

A full, complete, and unbiased audit of how they handle things like video taping games, stealing signals, and so on. 

That is the way we can all learn, for sure, just how awful, offensive, and dirty these Patriots and their head coach truly are.

We cannot learn the truth from focusing on one team and completely ignoring every other team and every other violation and every other practice that other teams employ.  

Let's consider the steroids controversy.

Would we truly learn about the impact of steroids if we examined only one player?

If we focused all of our energies in one direction and completely ignored evidence, rumors, and talk of others doing steroids as well?

Would that be a full, complete, honest investigation? Of course not, right?

That was the problem with the Mitchell report.

There were limited sources of information, so things were targeted very narrowly to a few players and franchises, and others were ignored. 

It is universally agreed that that was the fundamental flaw of the entire report.

If we had a trainer spilling the beans from each of the 30 teams, wouldn't the whole thing be much easier to interpret without bias and to form conclusions about this entire era?

Wouldn't it be easier to identify more accurately those that did steroids, and those that didn't, and the impact they had on the players and the game itself?

Of course it would.

Unfortunately, Mitchell did not have all that information. He did not have the opportunity and/or the ability to get all the data he needed. Thus, the report was inconclusive and incomplete.

Just as the Spygate investigation is. 

Right, Mr. Spector? 

I think we all agree, right NFL fans? 

So, let's take the opportunity to do what Mr. Mitchell could not. 

Let's fully and completely investigate the entire issue and get all the answers.

Here's how it would work.

First, we identify the victims of the awful transgressions the Patriots have committed. Those victims are, of course, the other teams in the NFL and their fans.

We gather all of the teams in a room and we give them a fair chance at justice! 

We tell them:

"You all have been horribly cheated from victories, income, and praise due to the dirty, nasty Patriots and their awful coach. Here is your chance to, once and for all, investigate them and to have all of their crimes discovered and publicly announced. 

All we need to do is have the NFL quickly investigate the media departments of all 31 teams, audit their tapes and practices, and create a full report on each of them. 

Having done this, we will have complete documentation on the practices of every team in the league.

This will conclusively prove that only the Patriots ever did anything like film or spy or steal signs, and it will fully show that all the other teams perfectly follow all the rules, and we can expose the Patriots once and for all and punish them to the full extent of the league's powers.

So, who's on board for this full audit? We already have investigators at all NFL stadiums ready to examine your video libraries and question your staff as we speak. How about a show of hands?"

How many teams will agree this audit?

I think we all know the answer to that question, don't we NFL fans?

Until that investigation takes places, until all teams fully open their vaults, and until all teams prove that they were angels and saints and the Patriots were the big, bad, cheaters, all we have is incomplete, biased, nonobjective judgments that refuse to examine the big picture.

You know, I could give a non-NFL fan, who knows little about the league, lots of disturbing stats and information about a single team, in a vacuum, to paint any picture I want:

"Did you know team X got away with 200 holding calls last year? And they grabbed a player's face mask 25 times!  They constantly pushed, shoved, and knocked opponents down on the field, often without a penalty even being called! 300 times they rushed a snap without giving the other team a chance to set their defense!  Clearly, they are a dirty, nasty team and a horrible bunch of thugs, right?!" 

A non-NFL fan would be forced to agree. They sound horrible, don't they? Yet, that's just an average NFL team; that's the way the game is played! That information is vital to understanding and properly evaluating the previous paragraph! Without that knowledge, how can you form an honest and informed opinion? You can't.

You see, everything is relative. Without context, without the big picture, without data to compare, all information is useless. 

Batting .295 is great, but not in softball league.

Missing only 1 day of work is great, but not if you've only been on the job for 2 days.

And on and on.

So, let's get the data. Let's investigate the NFL. Let's learn the facts.

Let's truly find out just how shady and dishonest "Belicheat" and the Patriots really are.

Any takers?