An Open Letter to Bleacher Report from Rafael Nadal (Humor)

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An Open Letter to Bleacher Report from Rafael Nadal (Humor)
(Photo by Clive Brunskill/Getty Images)

Hola Blicherr Rreporrt,

Jou may not know dis, but I read jour articels and hef to complen mucho about lotta tings. 

Primero, I hef de problem wit my knis and all of jou who call me liar, well jour pants gonna be hot, not mine.  Why jou Roger fans so min against me?  I say dat Rog is da bes all di time so Rog fans shud like me and say tankyuverymuch!

Second and mos importanto!  Bleacher report, Rafa no like spam!!!!  Jou tink dat I need to work at home?  Rafa already gad a job!  To play my bes at tennis.  No interesto in San Francisco Times telling to work from home. 

I hef di tendonitis and if Rafa hev di choice for to take di tendonitis or di spam, I gonna choose di tendonitis efery time!  Tankyuverymuch!

Third, who is dis Robert ORCHEZOShOWSKI?  He make fun of me too mucho!  I no really speak like dat, no?  Jou play me in tennis and I gonna keel you wurse dan Djokovic.

So, Blicher Raport, jou need to tings.  Uno, a community leader who like Rafa jus as mucho as di Silver Long Johns.  Dos, di system of ranking dat makes less sense dan di women's game.  And di last, Blicher reporrt, come se diche?  Oh jeah,  GEDDA Life!!

A la proxima!

Rafa 

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