In response to Hank Steinbrenner’s comments that the team needed to start winning immediately, Derek Jeter gave the Lil’ Boss a belated Mother’s Day gift.
A 2008 calendar.
“I just thought that Lil’ Boss needed a little perspective. It’s a long season,” Jeter said.
The calendar, which Jeter allegedly purchased at an 80 percent discount, includes colorful nature scenes featuring a man alone in the wilderness named Oku and his journey of isolation over the course of a year.
Interestingly, Oku never says a word over the entire twelve months.
When asked if the calendar contained a hidden message for Steinbrenner, Jeter responded, “Are you stupid? I wrote in every remaining game we have left and even provided Lil’ Boss with a role model—a guy who knows how to keep to himself and shut his butt puffer! There’s nothing subtle here! Stop smokin’ weed, Man—it messes with your mind…”
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The writer would at this time like to emphasize that he passes on grass.
Jeter also picked out a heartwarming Hallmark card which listed the 10 reasons the Yankees love their mother. It was signed by Yankees' players and staff, including one George Costanza, who almost lost the card when his friend Cosmo Kramer had it framed and sold to a memorabilia dealer.
The card ended up in the hands of a sick young boy who was recovering from a tonsillectomy. To get the card back, Kramer had to promise the child that Yankees' second baseman Robinson Cano would get his season average up over .200 by the end of the game.
Cano was able to do so thanks to a courageous 4-for-4 effort. He’s now batting a whopping .205.
Steinbrenner did, in fact, comment on the gift. Unfortunately, we are unable to print most of his profanity-laden tirade.
However, it was clear that he took offense to the Yankees’ “mother” analogy when he stated, “I don’t wear women’s clothes all that often anymore. I’m kinda sorta done with that phase of my life.”
Whatever the case, it certainly is time to panic in the Bronx. After Wednesday's 2-1 victory over Tampa Bay, the Yanks trail the Rays by 3.5 games with only 121 left to play.
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3 months ago
When Hank talks, the Yankes win. Simple enough. If you own a dog, are you not supposed to train it? Its his team, he has grown up in the Yankee Locker Room as early as 1970...who else has that kind of experience? So while St. George brought us 6 rings in 35 years, he has also left an heir ready to do more...and a billion dollar sports network that assures all fans.....there really is an empire. And it aint going anywhere....I have to say this, IT IS ABOUT TIME MR JETER OPENED THAT MOUTH....you can not lead with out speaking! so Kudos, jete. where ya been?
from 3 months ago
Thanks, Patrick. I was just poking fun at the Lil' Boss's concern about the slow start. I'm not a Yankees fan by any means, but this group generally kicks it into overdrive after the All-Star Break and it doesn't appear that anyone's going to take off with too big of a lead in the AL East by then.
3 months ago
Fun stuff Dave!
from 3 months ago
Thanks, Marty!
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