I do not judge NFL teams on their ability. No, that would be too simple. I like to award teams based on the eye candy that they keep on the sidelines.
Any big oaf can score a touchdown. Not any guy can score a supermodel.
You may notice that most of the women on this list are dating or married to quarterbacks. That's the glory position. Get your kid out in the backyard and force him to drill for hours on end.
He may hate you now, but when he's swimming in million dollar contracts and is dating a Victoria's Secret model, he'll thank you.
No matter how hot Matthew Stafford's girlfriend is, there isn't a poll on earth that I could ever put the Lions anything other than last place.
Good call by Stafford though, bringing a hot, southern cheerleader with him to Detroit. I'm already giving him high marks in decision making.
The Chiefs got a brand new quarterback in Matt Cassel, but they already had their franchise WAG is Kelli Croyle.
Brodie may have been relegated to the bench, but his life isn't too bad when his wife relegates him to the bed.
Peyton Manning has been the most consistent quarterback in the NFL over the last decade. Hell, he won an MVP last year for dragging a Colts team to the playoffs almost by himself.
His wife Ashley has been one of the league's most consistent WAGs too. She may not be a supermodel or Playboy bunny, but she gets the job done. Kind of like the Wes Welker of WAGs.
LaDanian Tomlinson was once the most feared back in the league. Now people aren't even sure if he's the best back on his own team.
At least he gets to come home to his wife, LaTorsha. Her name may be ridiculous, but she could be LaWhatever if she looks that good.
Eli just has to outdo his big bro in every way.
Not only did he score a bigger contract than Peyton, and win a Super Bowl at a younger age, but his wife is also hotter.
At least Peyton has funnier commercials.
Winslow has moved from the Browns to the Bucs, looking for a fresh start. His wife has to be happy about the upgrade from Cleveland to Tampa, as well.
We're happy too. The more chances we get to see Janelle on the beach is a good deal to us.
Julia Anderson is the rumored girlfriend of new quarterback, Jay Cutler.
If this is true, I doubt that Jay will be requesting another trade anytime soon. A girl that likes to hang out at clubs wearing lingerie is an obvious keeper.
The Steelers are still basking in the glow of their Super Bowl win.
Ben Roethlisberger may have a harder time basking, given his recent personal troubles, but his girlfriend should make things a little easier on him.
Missy Peregrym is an actress who has bounced around from show to show, but dating Big Ben has definitely increased her exposure.
I'm not complaining.
Hilary Rhoda is rumored to be dating the new hotshot quarterback for the Jets, Mark Sanchez.
Sanchez is supposed to be the savior of the Jets franchise (you know, since that Brett guy didn't work out) and it's good for fans to see that he's got good vision and can close the deal.
Chris Cooley lives up to his name by being one of the coolest guys in football.
He blogs, puts up videos of his brother and him going on a road trip, and he just so happens to have one of the hottest wives in sports.
We could all learn a thing or two from this man.
If you caught The T.O. Show, (and, judging by the ratings, not many of you have) you might have caught a glimpse of Owens' girlfriend Jessica White.
Of course, if you pick up a S.I. Swimsuit Issue, you might catch more than a glimpse of this beauty in painted on swimwear.
If she can put up with T.O.'s mouth, that makes her patient as well as hot, a pretty nice combo.
Green Bay fans are doing everything they can to try to forget about Favre. Aaron Rodgers is doing whatever he can to help.
Whether that is putting up Pro-Bowl numbers or dating a hot swimsuit model, either one is okay with Packer fans.
Since I'm not a Packer fan, I'd rather him take the model approach, which he seems to have done.
Hank Baskett signed a one-year deal to be a part of the Eagles receiving core.
I give him just one more year of football before he succumbs to just being Mr. Kendra Wilkinson and living off of whatever reality TV money she can pull in.
But for now, ol' Hank will be playing in Philly, and we can all hope to catch Kendra on the sidelines.
When Tom Brady went down last year, it was the worst thing that could have happened to the Pats.
However, it seemed to work out pretty well for Tom Brady, who took the extra time on his hands to get closer to Gisele and eventually marry her.
If you're going to pick someone to nurse you back to health, this Victoria's Secret Angel has got to be near the top of your list.
Carmella de Cesare is the only way the Raiders could top any sort of Power Rankings any time soon.
But Garcia was released by the Raiders before the season. As long as he has Carmella to go home to, I don't think he'll mind being unemployed.