Letter to Ted Thompson: How do I hate thee? Let me count the ways
Dear Mr. Thompson.
You are the devil incarnate.
How could you have forced the greatest living-legend quarterback gunslinger who ever played the game out of his beloved seasonal home of Green Bay?
No, I'm not talking about Bart Starr. I'm talking about Brett Lorenzo Favre.
Just because Starr won five championships for the Packers doesn’t mean he is better. After all, Brett owns something like every major passing category record there is. That should make up for winning just one Super Bowl and going 3-6 in the playoffs with 16TDs and 18 INTs, since losing Super Bowl XXXII. Starr was 9-1 in the playoffs and surrounded by Hall of Fame players. He even played against teams chocked full of Hall of Fame players and still beat them. Or something like that. He was before my time anyway so it doesn’t matter.
All you have ever done to Brett is be mean to him. Brett wanted Randy Moss. You should have read Randy’s mind and offered him what he wanted to hear. Instead he signed with New England and had a great season. And all we got stuck with was Donald Driver and Greg Jennings and the rest leading the NFL in yards after the catch. Brett knew his receivers weren’t good enough without getting Moss! You should have listened to Brett! Then they could have led the Universe in yards after the catch with Moss!
And just because your butterball coach finally got Brett to work out in the offseason and buy into his offense has nothing to do with the good year Brett had in '07!
But back to you Ted, the scum of the NFL. How dare you force Brett to retire and then trade a legend like him away. Just because Brett and his agent ‘Bus’ Cook both said you didn’t force him to retire, doesn’t mean it’s true. Why else would Brett want to retire from a team he called “the most talented team” he had been on in his 16 years in Green Bay? After all, that team got to the NFC Championship game and was one interception away from getting back to the Super Bowl. Why would Brett want to retire after that unless you had something to do with it Ted!
Those five three-and-out drives were clearly the coaches fault, not Brett’s. And you can’t blame Brett for going 4 of 7 for 32 yards on 3rd down while getting only one first down. You could tell he didn't want to be out there playing. It was too cold out! But he was out there trying just to make you look good!
In addition, you had the gall, the audacity to draft a top-rated college QB when he fell to us in the 24th spot! How dare you put someone other than a journeyman QB to hold the clipboard for Brett? Just because Brett has hinted about, and talked about retirement since around the 2000 season doesn’t mean you should plan for it! How stupid are you Ted? And you expected Brett to mentor this snot-nosed kid? Brett didn’t have time for that. He had too many Wrangler commercials to film and too much grass to cut back at his real home.
Just look at the interview Brett did with that ugly guy with the harelip from Fox News. You could see how anguished he was over how you treated him. Just because Brett quit on you, changed his mind, quit on you again, then decided he really, really wanted to come back is no reason to trade him. He was very respectful towards you the whole interview.
While that Van Sussenhoffer guy was lobbing softball questions and finishing Brett’s answers for him, he spent the most amount of time, and gave his longest answers when talking about you. He was not bitter towards you at all! He was just telling you how you should have done your job. What employee doesn't tell their boss what to do and second guess his every decision?
Then you trade Brett to New York and he is proving you wrong! He is winning games all by himself there. Ha! But his frail, nearly 40 year-old body begins to break down. If you would have let him come back to Green Bay like he wanted his body would not have broken down because, well, because he is familiar with Green Bay. Its not like he was pretending to be hurt and purposely losing games so you didn’t get a better draft pick.
And Brett is tough! He plays through anything, even when he is detrimental to the team. That is how great Brett is! That is real leadership! I bet your new QB couldn’t play though an injury or be tough like Brett. Ha!
So Brett retires. Again. Then he wants to play for our most hated rivals, the Minnesota Vikings. Its only to show the world he can still play football. He is not bitter and angry towards you, he is only doing this to prove to himself he can still play, and of course add to his record setting numbers so its tougher for Manning to break them. Oh, and maybe win another Super Bowl before he gets his AARP card in the mail.
But Brett came to his senses. He doesn’t hate you that much to play against you. See how loving, caring, and unselfish Brett is towards you? He even didn't care about the Green Bay Fans. He was only worried about how he felt about you. Even after all the evil things you did to him.
So Brett did what he always does: texts all his media buddies to keep his name in the news whenever they aren't talking about him enough, makes everyone wait around until he is the center of attention, and then changes his mind at the last minute, just to save you from looking bad Ted.
Because of you Ted, forcing Brett to retire multiple times, even though he kindly said you didn’t force him, and for moving on with some young guy who could only put up NEARLY the same numbers as Brett did during his remarkable 2007 season, you, and you alone have divided Packer Nation.
All of us Favre Fanatics who jumped ship and bought our N.Y. Jets Favre jerseys will never forgive you. Even though we claim to be Packer fans, we want the Packers to lose.
So going forward we hope you and your hand-picked coach get fired and we have to rebuild everything from scratch again, because that is better than continuing with the people already in place we hate because you forced our hero to leave. That is what makes a TRUE Packer fan!
Who needs to save money to re-sign young, proven players on our own team when we can pay for established, high priced, injury-prone veterans for one season to win NOW! That is the key to success in the NFL. You would know that if you were a good GM! You tried your approach in Seattle and what did that get you? They went to the Super Bowl with your team the year you left and they lost! Ha!
Maybe once you are gone Brett can be our GM? After all, he really showed his desire to be the GM during that Van Howardstern interview.
Brett wanted you to hire Steve Mariucci as the coach. He is in such demand that he is still being an analyst for the NFL Network. Or maybe bring back Mike Sherman as GM. After all, he quickly left his assistant job in the NFL to coach somewhere in Texas for a college or high school team there. I’m not sure which. But I’m sure he is available to come back if Brett asked him. Plus he lets Brett do what he wants, not like mean old Mike Holmgren.
Brett is friends with Matt Millen, maybe Brett can hire him as GM and then Brett will be free to coach. After all, they have already talked together about how to run the Packers offense. That seems like a magical combination to me.
So please Ted, stop looking out for the best interests of the team and the franchise. Look out for the best interests of us Favre Fanatics. We earned that respect for living vicariously through our hero for 16 years. We don’t know any other way to be. We can only live in the past and are too afraid to look toward a future without our gunslinger under center for the team we love (but have to hate right now just because you are the focus of all our irrational rage and frustration).
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