Speculation surrounding transfer deals has reached new levels of fever after the announcement of Avram Grant having found the answer to all of his problems a week out from the Champions league Final.
A player so gifted that some have said that when he plays on a flooded pitch the other team may as well retreat to the 18 yard line and await the ensuing attacks. Yes my friends Chelsea have signed Jesus.
Jesus Christ himself will don the famous blue jersey in a move that has had some screaming heresy while others have been swept into a religious fervour not seen since the sermon on the mount.
Jehovah and Lucifer were unavailable for comment and at this stage it seems that Jesus is only communicating with the media through a hermetic order who no one know how to get a hold of.
One can only assume that Jesus will play a Messianic centre pitch role that covers the whole pitch with his unmatched genius. A crossing expert from his time amongst the Romans he has been known to lead teams back from the dead and his after match comments are read by billions.
Grant himself has said "A player like this in your team is what any manager prays for and in fact when I heard the news I dropped to my knees and could barely manage a hail Mary before passing out into some sort of delirium."
Perhaps now the Chelsea faithful can finally exorcise the demons of Mourinho's era and get down to business.
Manchester United are said to be in talks with Lucifer.
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about 1 month ago
Is this some kind of sarcasm....I cant figure it out.
about 1 month ago
Dude are you serious? its a joke relating to the ridiculous nature of transfer rumours. have a think about it bud. perhaps its a bit to dry for you.
about 1 month ago
lmao ... the best transfer news so far ... keep them coming.
lucifer for the red DEVILS ftw.
5*
about 1 month ago
I dont see the funny part but oh well, Another pointless article.
about 1 month ago
Needless but funny.
and why dont United get jesus? Money. Coz if he wants to play football he will definitely chose the better football club and not the better deal
about 1 month ago
LOVE IT...
about 1 month ago
come on man. what is this????
about 1 month ago
Excellent work Illya, I like it. Anything that combines football and mildly mocking religion gets my vote.
Any truth in the rumour that Ashley Cole has called a meeting with Avram Grant to discuss a new deal after being upset at the terms offered to Jesus, particularly the 'resurrection clause'? :-)
from about 1 month ago
cole needs a resurrection in the bedroom, no wonder he was pumping his legs before the pens on wednesday. sorry, had to.
about 1 month ago
interesting you should mention the resurrection clause simon as it has caused a stir. But the real problems have involved Joe Cole and the 'gods gift' clause.
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