Celtics' Garnett Bursts Into Flames Following Game 5 Win

Celtics forward Kevin Garnett burst into flames following Boston's Game 5 victory over the Cleveland Cavaliers. Jon Meerdink reports.

by Jon Meerdink (Scribe)

2

618 reads

Humor

May 14, 2008

Humor, NBA, Boston Celtics, Kevin Garnett , Satire

BOSTON – After leading his team to victory in Game 5 of the Eastern Conference Semifinals, Kevin Garnett burst into flames at center court of the TD Banknorth Garden, perhaps in response to members of the media who had recently questioned his intensity in clutch moments.  

As the final seconds drained off the clock, Garnett, whose 26 points and 16 rebounds were key for Boston, slowly walked to mid-court, where he paused for a moment, stared intensely into a television camera, then dramatically exploded into flames.

“I think it’s pretty obvious that Kevin’s a pretty intense kinda guy,” said Paul Pierce, who led Boston in scoring with 29 points. “He always wanted to show people how intense he was, and it don’t get much more intense than startin’ yourself on fire.” 

Though Garnett’s display of intensity will surely inspire his teammates, the timing of the maneuver is somewhat questionable, as Garnett’s absence will surely be felt in Game 6 and whatever other games Boston may play in the playoffs.

“Yeah, it’s pretty much a win-win for us,” said LeBron James of the Cleveland Cavaliers. “I mean how often do you see somebody literally catch on fire like that? That was awesome. Plus, he’s not gonna be around for Game 6, and that’ll help us out a ton. 

While spontaneous human combustion has been previously reported, Garnett’s may be the first instance of intentional combustion. This is also the first undisputed occurrence of human combustion, with literally thousands of witnesses present in the arena at the moment of ignition.

“Now all those Gatorade commercials where he looks so crazy will make more sense,” said Celtics guard Ray Allen. “I was worried he was just acting. Now we’ll know once and for all that he really is that crazy.”

Humor

618 views

Share:

  • Digg
  • StumbleUpon
  • Facebook
  • Email
  • Print

comments (2) write a comment »

  1. hilarious article, kg was huge in game 5.

  2. Doc shoulda doused him with the Gatorade after he erupted into flames. Hilarious article, Dude.

write a new comment


Edit this Article Article History

FREE SPORTS TEXT ALERTS

  • Get team scores and news sent to your cell phone during and after each game.
  • We do not charge for these services, but standard messaging rates or other charges apply.
  • Cancel anytime by replying STOP to any message.

Step 1: Choose a team

League:

Step 2: Enter your phone number

( ) -
Standard Messaging Rates or other charges apply. To Opt-out text STOP to 4INFO (44636). For more information text HELP to 4INFO (44636). Contact your carrier for more details.

Want to write for Bleacher Report

We are a community of fans who write about sports. And we're growing.

Learn More and Sign Up »