I was wondering what would have happened if Prince Fielder had actually gotten to talk to Guillermo Mota after Tuesday Night’s scuffle. Here are three highly likely scenarios:
Prince: Um, ya know, why’d you throw, ya know, that muthafu**ing ball at me, beeotch? Ya know, we didn’t even hit your pussy ass roider, ya know? But I guess, ya know, you steroid using junkies have to stick together.
Mota: Ummm…well…Torre told me to, and since no one wants me I did what I was told before I became a castout again…You don’t know how it feels to be hated everywhere you go. I tried to hit you nicely…
Prince: You cowardly muthafu**er, ya know, don’t you remember, ya know, all we did for you?? You sucked balls for our team, ya know, but I still invited you out and sh*t, ya know. I just want you to know, ya know, that you’re fu**ing dead to me now. Tell everyone in there to stop throwing those muthafu**ing balls at my muthafu**ing head.
Prince: I say good sir, did you intend to throw that baseball at my posterior?
Mota: Why yeeeeeees, I did, good sport.
Prince: That was a highly regrettable offense, old chap. I felt it to be unnecessary and barbaric.
Mota: That may be true, but suffice to say it wasn’t I that deemed it appropriate. ‘Twas Joseph Torre asked me personally to deliver the ball to your large frame.
Prince: Well, sir, I bite my thumb at you.