EIGHT: Pam Stops By—Hey, we couldn’t talk about weekly themes here at the NFP without hanging out with the girls of “Baywatch”—and we all know where this is going, right? Yes, the queen of a show about babes in red swimsuits and David Hasselhoff (in red Mark Sanchez shorts) stops by Eight in the Box. Hello, Pamela Anderson, and welcome.

SEVEN: Take That, Denver—Not that Jay Cutler could anger Denver fans more, but it seems the new Bears QB likes his new surroundings down at Bears camp in Bourbonnais, Ill., saying, “Denver’s like a six and Chicago’s like a nine.”

Hey, Broncos fans, it could be worse. Just imagine what Brandon Marshall would say if he were asked the same question.

SIX: Ted and Mike- This week, Green Bay GM Ted Thompson sent shock waves through the national media when he said the Packers “look at everything” when asked about free-agent quarterback Michael Vick. Hey, someone may want to tell Ted that now is not the time to talk about the quarterback position in Green Bay—because it didn’t work out so well last summer either.

FIVE: Carmen—She dates rock stars (just like Pamela), she’s had some work done (just like Pamela), and a poster of her is hanging on the bedroom wall of NFP Fantasy expert Joe Fortenbaugh (just like Pamela). Yes, Carmen Electra—a Baywatch babe—is now also on the NFP, and we couldn’t be happier.

FOUR: The Crab—We all know the story of Michael Crabtree, and his threat to sit out the entire 2009 season, and we all know that Crabtree’s “adviser” is his cousin (which makes perfect business sense, right?).

But the last time I checked, the NFL is still going to have a season this year, with or without Crabtree. I’m sure tickets would sell to watch the J.P. Losman-to-Crabtree connection in the UFL. Now that’s great theater. Have fun, rookie.

THREE: Rexy is Back—You all remember Rex Grossman, right? Well, he’s now in Houston, and according to the Houston Chronicle, Grossman—currently listed third on the depth chart—told reporters, “If they have me at third string, I’m going to be the best third-string quarterback in the league.” Way to set the bar high, Rex.

TWO: Happy Philip—After news broke about the Eli Manning deal in New York, Chargers quarterback Philip Rivers should have gone out and bought a Bentley or two to drive down to Pacific Beach.

If Manning can throw two interceptions and finish the day with a QB rating hovering around 40 in a home playoff loss—and still get over $97 million—imagine what Rivers will get this season. We’re talking P. Diddy cash, folks.

ONE: The Hoff—We were supposed to bring you Yasmine Bleeth—a classic Baywatch babe—in this spot, but Fortenbaugh wouldn’t have it. So, we compromised, and since Joe has a David Hasselhoff Fathead in his office (right next to his framed Freddie Mitchell autographed jersey), we gave Joe what he wanted—The Hoff.

If someone can find a more brutal picture than this, please send it our way, because I don’t see it happening—ever.

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