The Lingerie Football League: The Only Place Where the Boys Root For the Skins

As the NFL's halftime show has gotten better the past few years, the Lingerie Bowl has continued to tempt viewers away with its premise of sexy girls hitting each other in a game of full contact 7-7 action.

This league is sure to titillate both hardcore and casual football fans. (Along with Bob Dole and his crazy dog.)

Its my 50th article, so I'm officially selling out and posting something for the "Guilty Pleasures" section. Judge me all you want.

This year, the newly formed LFL will have a full season prior to the Lingerie Bowl.

Take a look at some of the franchises...

Philadelphia Passion

Philadelphia may be the "City of Brotherly Love," but fans are sure to adore this franchise.

Friends, meet Jackie Danico.

She is both the head cheerleader you always dreamed about and the starting quarterback for the Passion.

Jackie was a semifinalist for Maxim's Hometown Hotties and has done extensive modeling work for Verizon and Hooters.

All of this and a tight spiral?

You can boo Santa, but you can't boo that.

Miami Caliente

Miami wins for the best use of foreign languages in their name.

Aimee up there is a safety. She may not hit like Troy Polamalu, but she's certainly better to look at.

Perhaps the best endorsement deal for this new league would be with Fathead.

Who of us wouldn't rather have Aimee on our wall than a big LeBron James?

Another great endorsement deal? Getting Miami hottie Gabrielle Anwar (USA's Burn Notice) to play.

New York Majesty

Melissa Ann Teixeira...AKA "HemiGirl."

Although she never stepped onto a LFL field, she's the biggest name connected to the New York Majesty. Her signing led to a huge publicity boost among "Car and Truck" fans who happen to like football too.

Now? She's left to pursue other interests, leaving fans disappointed but probably still wondering when Week One begins (Sept. 4).

New York was one of the first teams in 2003, competing as "Team Euphoria." You would need to be doing drugs to not enjoy watching this.

Tampa Breeze

Another source of controversy (aka publicity) for the newly formed league is LB Melissa Berry.

When her ex-boyfriend, Marc Dawson, allegedly released nude photos of Berry, she sued, putting the LFL right in the spotlight.

Dawson claims that Melissa posed for the pictures willingly and he doesn't know how they got released.

Thankfully, the Tampa franchise chose to invoke images of Drew Brees with their nickname, rather than former Tampa Bay QB Brian Griese.

Dallas Desire

Erin Marie Garrett...the lightning in Dallas' "Thunder and Lightning" backfield.

The hopes are that she will just keep the iPod in and never murder the English language like a certain former Dallas running back.

Dallas fans can hope she has the same success Emmitt Smith did during the '90s, but one thing is for sure...her linemen look a whole lot better.

Denver Dream

Denver Dream was a single by Donna Summer.

That poster is a lot better to look at than the album cover.

In fact, this poster is a lot better to look at than anything in Denver wearing Orange and Blue this season other than Knowshon Moreno.

A few questions though: Why couldn't they be the Denver Crush? And will they be sponsored by John Elway's car dealers?

(P.S. Dick's Sporting Goods Park? Really?)

Los Angeles Temptation

The LA Temptation was one of the two founding teams of the LFL (2003). They were originally called "Team Dream."

Their Team Captain is Nikki Ziering, former Playboy Playmate of the Month and divorcee from Beverly Hills 90210's Ian Ziering. (No one reading this should find that last point relevant.)

San Diego Seduction

Melany Lorenzo...

San Diego was hard to find pictures for. Hopefully you find it was worth the wait.

And hey! I know California already has two LFL franchises, but I propose Bleacher Report could field a pretty talented team. We've got a lot of football junkies of the feminine persuasion around here.

The San Francisco Foxes...I can see it now!

Seattle Mist

If there was anything to get sports fans to start collecting cards again...

Miss McLauchlin might be it.

Quite frankly, we should all be embarrassed that Pokemon and Digimon have taken over the card world from baseball and football. If we need to give Alicia up there special power-ups to use, so be it.

Topps, get it done.

One Last Photo

Since I'm selling out...

Can you picture Brian Dawkins and T.O in this embrace? If you can, seek medical help immediately, as your head may explode.

The Lingerie Football League certainly won't be about good football, but with images like this...some of you will probably be watching anyway.

AND I...LOVE...YOU...TOO!

HERE'S TO FOOTBALL!