Josh Deemers was screaming for attention again, so I visited.
“Josh,” yelled his mother from upstairs, “does your little friend want milk and cookies.”
Josh walked over to the cellar stairs and yelled, “Ma, I asked you to not come into the man cave.” He took two steps before he went back and added, “Besides, he's not a friend.”
“Josh, three articles on th Tom Brady board? Are you off your medication again?”
“NFL network listed Bradshaw, Aikman, and Elway ahead of the man-god that is Peyton,” he said.
“So, of course you write stories on the Tom Brady section,” I say.
I did not know that crickets in Indianapolis were so loud.
“I'm the #1 writer in the Tom Brady section. It is a heavy burden, bringing TRUTH to ignorant New Englanders, but it is my burden,” he said. “I take that seriously. Let me ask you, how would you react if Tom Brady was disrespected like that.”
“I think I speak for all Patriot fans, in that I'd shrug, move on with my life, and decide the writer is an idiot. I bet Steeler fans would react that way if Ben was disrespected.”
“Josh,” yelled his mother, “you have to take out the garbage.”
He walked to the stairs and yelled, “Ma, I'm in the man cave.”
“Joshua Michael Deemers,” she yelled back, “as long as you live under my roof...”
She went on as Josh said, “I'll be right back.”
After a few minutes he came back and told me how Peyton's regular season statistics are better than any other Quarter Back.
“How does his post season stack up?” I asked rhetorically.
“GET OUT!” he yelled as he turned away. I could be wrong, but I think his voice was quivering.
“Hey, I know it is hard. Being 35, living in your mom's basement, putting your sense of self worth in the guy known for post season chokes...”
“PEYTON DID NOT CHOKE!” he yelled/cried.
“OK” I say, as I realize I'm not great at cheering someone up. “I just meant I know it must hurt knowing the statistics so well that you know they are right about the post season.”
“Peyton is the best Quarter Back ever,” he said s he plopped down in his chair and booted up his mother's computer. “You can leave now.”
“There there,” I said, “It is not totally bleak. Some of his postseason stats do go up.”
“If you are referring to his interception percent, just go away,” he said.
Yes, editors, this is a Tom Brady article for it is about Peyton Manning.:) (For once, dear editors, you are not the butt of this joke.)
Oh, this is satire. Although Josh Deemers is based on an actual person, many things are just made up. Any resemblance to any writer here at Bleacher Report is extremely unfortunate.
Unfunny (to me) explanation for Steeler fans here.
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