Dear Awesome Eldin™: Ronaldive Edition

After spending some time on B/R I started receiving mail from celebrities asking for my advice on different topics, while I sadly did not receive these individual's names due to the seriousness of the issues addressed, I can however show their letters to the public.

The first half is the letter I've received, and the second is my reply to them.
________________________________________________________________________

Dear Awesome Eldin™

I am without a doubt the most talented player in the history of sports. I'm not just talking about football, but I'm also talking about Rugby, NHL, NFL, Tennis, Table Tennis and Marbles.

In fact, pick a number between 1 and 10, it's 72 isn't it. See, I told you I'm the best.

But sadly Mr.Awesome™, even though I am the most talented, prettiest and smartest of them all, I am also one of the most hated. I can't stand hearing those losers booing me, I know they're jealous of me, but I can't stand them calling me a cheat.

They don't know the courage it takes to dive even though you've just had your nails done.

I mean, think about it, that Non-flying Dutchman guy never cheated, what did he ever win. He wasn't even good to begin with. He's nothing compared to me, he will never be remembered by people because he was never half as talented as I am.

Also Mr.Awesome™, not only am I competing with the world's best on the pitch, but also off it as well. I've been competing with Golden Balls to see who is the most marketable player in the history of football. But I can't seem to get people's attention, can you please help me with this Mr.Awesome™?

Please Mr.Awesome™, if you can help me with these troubling issues, I would be the
happiest man indeed. I just want to be loved, it's hard to live alone inside my huge mansion with no-one to play with, and no-one to throw thousands of Euros at.

Thanks in advance,

Ronaldive

P.S: My duck says hi.

You're currently logged into Facebook

Do you want to share your Bleacher Report activity on Facebook?