ESPN’s latest over-produced segment ‘FanFeast’ is highlighting the highlights of being a fan (where do these guys ‘get’ these ideas?).
Jackie Moon considers it groundbreaking television. On a scale of 1-Dreamjob it’s a solid First Take suck.
But Jackie thinks the WWL missed a few.
So to compliment FanFeast, J-Moon has added a few things that should have been on the ultimate fan experience list. You should check these boxes before Labor Day. Trust Jackie.
Sure everyone can be the drunk a-hole in the bleachers, yelling out bad heckles. And seriously, it’s not that hard to get lectured by security because you were the topless yahoo spilling beer on families dropping f-bombs (who hasn’t been there). What Jackie is talking about here is the unadulterated joy of getting lobbed from a game for doing something big. Running out on the field. Parachuting into the game unannounced. Etc.
When Jackie was 23, he made his way, mid-game, into the Cubs dugout. Sure 36 hours of jail sucked, but it was a great story. An unforgettable experience. And if I do forget, it’s on my permanent record.
Who’s the bigger loser, the guy who plays in the WSOP or the guy who watches it (on reruns). Sure most of these guys have never kissed a girl they’re not related to. But it’s still a pretty sweet experience to try at least once.
Playing in a real tournament is slow, long, slow, and usually a time-suck of a weekend. But it’ll prepare you for killing weekends watching college and pro ball when football starts. I’m telling you: talking shit, overplaying a low pair, thinking you have a chance because you won 20 bucks online in a low-rent game is totally a mini-rush.
Playing in a tournament will make you really appreciate things. Like the fact you have a real job, a girlfriend, and hobbies.
Jackie Moon is not about confrontation. Unless provoked. Which brings us to this gem of an experience.
Of course it’s really noble to help children in society. But nothing will give you the warm and fuzzies of reffing a kid’s game, watching kids play for the love of the sport. And then calling the police to escort the parents from the scene after you toss them and mayhem breaks out. It’s unforgettable. I still remember my first death threat. Just cuz I punched out a 4-year old on a questionable strike call. Hey, Jackie blames the kid. He should have swung at anything close on a 0-2 count. Don’t hate the messenger, Dad.
Not on TV. Not in the stands. But in real life. Always dreamed of racing on the circuit. Spray paint your car, go thru security, and get onto the track mid-race. Think you can hang with Tiger? Bring the 6-iron and just drop a ball on the fairway at a major. You’ll feel like a pro, and you may even make SportsCenter.
Why should athletes have a lock on being tasered.
Take it from the Moon, life is too short to just be the ‘typical’ fan. You really want to get all you can get out of sports, start checking the real boxes. A lot of people have run a marathon. How many have fans have ever started a soccer riot. I want to have a beer with that guy.
Be bold. Be different. Be a real fanatical douchebag.
For more Jackie Moon, and articles and videos and polls that celebrate the tasered athlete, check out http://www.dailyballbreakers.com/ (breaking balls every day).