F1 for Dummies (Or How to Save This Kitten)

I keep telling people I loathe Bleacher slide shows, yet here I am with another one.

My purpose today is to promote and explain the sport of F1, but I'm not going to tell you that F1 is better than NASCAR or IRL.

Why would I do that?

I am going tell you that F1 is a wonderfully simple sport to follow. How simple? Points are awarded solely by finish position, and accumulated through the season. The driver who finishes the season with the most points is the champion - if only NASCAR had such clarity.

Having established that my purpose is to provide a brief guide to F1, it's time to go on with the show.

Oh yes, the kitten. We will get to that cute little darling, I promise you.

The Number One

One is a unique number.

It is its own root, its own factorial, its own square and cube, etc. No other number has such properties.

We recognise No. 1 as signifying the highest attainment.

If you release a record, you want it to reach No. 1.

On reaching the top of an organization, you'll be No. 1.

Nobody has the ambition to be No. 2 or No. 3.

Why settle for less than No. 1?

Formula One racing, also known as F1, is the world's premier motor sport by any measure. It has the biggest number of fans, the biggest TV audiences, and the biggest financial turnover.

F1 is No. 1.

Stick with me now—remember the kitten.

The Cars

A thing of beauty is a joy forever.

This 2009 Ferrari F60 is a creation of their factory in Maranello, Italy, but it has much in common with every other car on the F1 grid.

Fuelled and with driver, the maximum weight is 605 kilograms (1,334 pounds).

The monocoque body is made of extremely strong carbon composites.

Its maximum speed is about 220 mph.

It will accelerate from rest to 100 mph in 3.5 seconds.

Its carbon disc brakes stop it from 100 mph in under two seconds.

The aero components, mainly the front and rear wings, create a downforce equal to the car's weight at 80 mph, and more than twice the car's weight at 120 mph.

It is the design of the aero and suspension components that separates winners from losers. The Brawn GP car uses the same Mercedes engine as the McClaren and Force India teams, but it has crushed them on the track.

The kitten has such a lovely little face.

Engines

At the moment, there are five F1 engine builders: Ferrari, Toyota, BMW, Renault, and Mercedes. Next year, they will be joined by Cosworth, a name with a historic F1 pedigree, but BMW will apparently be dropping out.

In the photo is a Mercedes F1 engine. These currently power McLaren, Brawn GP, and Force India cars.

F1 engines are easily the most expensive in motor racing, but they are not as exotic and powerful as they could be due to various irksome restrictions imposed by the governing body.

Every F1 engine:

Has about 5,000 parts, with about 1500 of them moving.

Weighs 95 kilograms, the specified minimum weight.

Is a 2.4-litre V8.

Produces about 730 HP at 18,000 rpm, which is the current rev limit.

Has electronic ignition and a standardised ECU.

Is "normally" aspirated—turbos and superchargers are banned.

Has a dry-sump lubrication system and hydraulic valves.

F1 drivers are currently limited to eight engines per season. If a driver has to exceed that limit, he is penalized by being dropped 10 places on the starting grid.

In this season, Brawn GP driver Jenson Button has set a record by being the first man to win three races with the same engine. That is of more than academic interest, for it could leave him with new engines towards the end of the season when his rivals are faced with using an engine one time too many or taking the penalty for a new one.

Do you remember the kitten?

The Teams

An F1 team is an organization of at least several hundred people.

The greatest number of them will work in the factory that produces the cars and the stream of modified parts that are developed as the season progresses.

A smaller number will travel to the race circuits to support the two drivers each team fields.

When an F1 car pits for fuel and tyres, as shown in our photo, about 20 pit crew member will be involved in a much-rehearsed routine to get the car underway. This usually takes less than 10 seconds.

In 2009, there are 10 teams, but there may be slightly more in 2010. Each team builds its own cars within a tight set of regulations produced by governing body the FIA.

The Circuits

F1 is a global sport.

There are races in Melbourne, Australia and Sao Paulo, Brazil. China and Malaysia are also homes to races, and there are historic circuits like Spa in Belgium and Silverstone in England.

There is a night race in Singapore, and the classic Monaco Grand Prix around the moneyed streets of Monte Carlo.

The variety of locations is one of the charms of F1, and contributes to its cosmopolitan atmosphere.

All F1 circuits have laps of between two and four miles, except Spa, which is 4.35 miles. The maximum time allowable for an F1 race is two hours.

We're halfway to the kitten.

Qualifying

The day before each Grand Prix (all F1 races are termed Grand Prix), there is a three-part qualifying session to determine each driver's race start position. The parts are named Q1, Q2, and Q3.

In Q1, every driver has 20 minutes in which to complete the fastest lap he can score. The fastest 15 drivers then go through to Q2.

In Q2, the remaining drivers have 15 minutes to again record their fastest lap, and only the 10 fastest go through to Q3.

Q3 is the climax. Drivers are allocated the top 10 grid positions according to their best lap times in this 10-minute period.

As dry as that may all sound, F1 qualifying makes an intense and thrilling viewing experience. The last few seconds are often incredibly exciting as the lap times fall.

Our photo shows Finnish driver Heikki Kovaleinen in his McLaren qualifying for the 2009 Melbourne Grand Prix.

We will return to the kitten, please be patient.

The Start

Getting a good start is the first challenge in any race.

F1 races have a standing start, and the top 10 cars are in exactly the same condition as they finished qualifying, including the fuel loads.

The cars are arranged in a grid formation, where the order is determined by the qualifying session the previous day. He who qualifies fastest is at the front of the grid, in pole position.

At the front of the grid is a gantry with a cluster of lights. When all the cars are on the grid, five red lights are lit at one-second intervals.

This is when the drivers rev their engines and prepare for the getaway, and the F1 heart fills with anxious anticipation.

After a random interval, all the lights are extinguished. That is the start signal, and every car leaps away from its grid position. Drivers who have made a good start will try to leap-frog cars in front to gain a few positions.

The driver in pole position will do everything to stop anyone from getting past him and maintain his front-runner position into the first corner. But frequently, he fails and loses a number of positions.

The First Corner

This is the second big challenge of the race: Making it through the first corner.

Very often, cars are damaged here, sometimes putting them out of the race and sometimes necessitating a trip to the pit lane for a new nose cone or other repairs.

The only driver who is just about immune from first corner mayhem is the leader. Further back in the field, hopes are often wrecked here.

In this photo, we see Mark Webber in the Red Bull car getting battered all over the Melbourne circuit by at least three other drivers. He did not need this in what was the first race of 2009 and his home grand prix, but he got it anyway.

The kitten is meowing. I think he wants some milk.

The Race

After a vigorous internal debate, good me versus bad me, I have decided to come clean and admit that F1 races far too often develop into tedious processions.

Not all of them, though, and there is always a strategic battle to put a car over the finish line in first place.

Races can be full of incident, and that is especially true when rain falls. Weather is a great equalizer and can allow an exceptional driver to triumph even when he is not in the best car.

You are always watching the best drivers in the world racing for the best-resourced teams in the world.

We'll get back to the kitten.

Scoring

Scoring is one of F1's beautiful simplicities.

The first driver to take the checkered flag is the winner, and he scores 10 points in the F1 championship.

Second place scores eight points, third place takes six, fourth place scores five, fifth place takes four, sixth scores three, seventh place scores two, and eighth place scores on point. That's it—there are no complications.

At the end of the season, the driver with the most points is the champion. And in recent years, we have not known who will be king for a year until the last race.

The Clincher

Here's the kitten again. We've come full-circle now, haven't we?

I've given you the best attempt I can make at being a smooth-talking persuader.

My photos and words have been chosen to hopefuly intrigue you, and to plant in your mind a seed that may grow into an interest in F1.

But I have to recognize that some of you may not have succumbed to my blandishments, or may feel you have too much going on in your sporting lives to be able to take yet another sport on board.

I can understand that, I really can.

So at this stage, I tear off my Mr. Nice Guy mask and return to the thuggish menaces of my roots.

Watch F1, or the kitten gets it.

Relax Already

No animals were harmed, alarmed, or threatened in the production of this slide-show.

I am a lifelong animal lover, it's just people I loathe.

Even so, no people were harmed, alarmed, or threatened in the production of this slide-show.