SATIRE: Pete Rose Starts Dogfighting Ring in Hopes of MLB Reinstatement

After the National Football League allowed reformed dog killer Michael Vick back into its ranks, Pete Rose, who was banned from baseball for gambling, has launched his own dogfighting operation in the hopes Major League Baseball will give him a second chance. 

"Vick shot and killed dogs after a mauling in the ring.  I gambled.  Guess I picked the wrong vice," said Rose, petting his prized pitbulls Charlie and Hustle.  

Earlier this week, NFL Commissioner Roger Goodell reinstated Vick, following his recent release from prison for running a dogfighting ring. For Vick, it means he can participate in regular season games as early as October, should a team sign him on.

Rose has been out of baseball since August of 1989, when allegations surfaced he bet on games when he was both a player and a manager of the Cincinnati Reds.  To this day, Rose maintains he never bet against his team.

Because of the ban, baseball's all-time hit king will never be voted into Cooperstown, the baseball Hall of Fame.

Recently, MLB commission Bud Selig insisted, from his point of view, nothing has changed and the status-quo, as it pertains to Rose, will remain.

That's why Rose has started the dogfighting ring.

"Everyone is ready to accept Vick.  He's paid his dues, they say.  Well, for me, it has been a 20 year sentence and counting," declared an agitated Rose.

"I figure, if Vick can look at a defenseless animal and shoot it dead...and still be allowed to return to the sport he loves, maybe it'll work for me."

At this point, the dogfighting ring consists solely of Rose and his two dogs.

"The two fight over an ol' ham bone.  No one really gets hurt.  Charlie and Hustle fight over bones under my kitchen table all the time, really."

Whether the dogfighting operation will garner even more sympathy for Rose remains to be seen.

"Hopefully, Selig will take a page from (Roger) Goodell's book and give me a shot at Cooperstown."

Rose has already been inducted into one sport's Hall of Fame.  In 2004, Rose was inducted into the "Celebrity Wing" of the WWE Hall of Fame, the first celebrity to receive such an honor.

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