Jonathan Papelbon: YOU ARE NOT WORTHY

The DoctorCorrespondent IJuly 29, 2009

Ok, so we were willing to listen to your utterly spastic and sophomoric post game interviews - which sounded like Rain Man describing how he buys his underwear at Kmart in Cincinnati.
We were willing to watch your less than Heterosexual Irish dancing after playoff series - but to tell the truth - its just because you were saving games - I mean don't get us wrong - we knew you were a ************ Moron the whole time - we knew we never would trust you to do the most simple of tasks - such as mailing a letter - we basically viewed you as a Savant who closed games like Raymond Babbit counted cards and toothpicks.
Well now that you suck - you are no longer worthy of the Red Sox closers spot and you are no longer worthy of our indulgence - you *********
As far as I am concerned you can jump on the Heap of other dumb sh*** from the State of Mississippi and go play in the Katrina Sand box with your fellow morons Brett Favre and Derk Turnbow - may as well add the currently Crippled Ben Sheets to the mix as well.
I wouldn't be surprised if you were dealt before the deadline - you suck that bad - in fact if I were you I would thank my lucky stars that the Special Olympics doesn't have Baseball as an event because to tell the truth - that is really where you are at.
So no hard feelings, but you are totally useless and if Tito puts you in a close game again - I would fire him.