The Fastest Way to Become Number One on B/R: (Humor)

Since the dawn of civilization being a leader, or number one, has always caused many people to do their best to get to the top. No matter what it may cost: sacrifice, risk, time and money.

People never cease to tirelessly chase their dreams. Sometimes they really succeed in making their dreams a reality; other times they simply fail.

But trying new things is never a waste of time, there is absolutely something new to learn while we are on the path of expriencing them. Sometimes, the journey is more important than the destination of being No. 1!

Here in this slideshow, though, I want to shed light on some vital, if funny, steps to take, in order to be No. 1 here on B/R.

First step:

Wherever on earth you live, don’t think much about it. Sell everything you have and just move to San Francisco, CA, U.S.A.

Once in San Fran, if you’re downtown, that’s good, but if you get a room or a tent in front of the B/R building, it would be better. Make sure you`ve got several thousand dollars in your pocket, as it will be extremely useful to you as you take the next following steps to success.

Step 2.

Try to find someone, ANYONE, who has a good car, pick-up truck, or moving van, in the town. After hiring him, put a big picture of yours (preferably the current one on your B/R profile) on back of the vehicle.

Ask him to drive around the city at least for 24 hours.

Make sure he is not making a fool of you! I advise you to stay beside (or even better, behind) him during the journey. I know it's boring, but this is a crucial step to make people know you, thus getting more and more readers.

Step 3.

Buy 500 precious watches of good quality, and distribute them freely to the people walking in the streets of San Fran. (I told you to have a lot of money!)

In this way, you should daily get at least 500 reads on your articles. For sure, you will be on everybody's mind.

Step 4

Another step of utmost importance, but a risky one:

Go to the nearest subway station, and stick a very large copy of your photo somewhere around as an advertisement, with the name of the site (B/R), of course, written at the bottom of picture.

We all know that everyday, thousands of people pass by, so if you are lucky, maybe a few hundred will check out the site to discover who you are. And then maybe read two or three articles of yours.

Step 5

Choose one of the biggest, most beautiful buildings in the town. Ask the owner to put a large picture of yours (as an advertisement) on the wall. This should get you known more and more.

But don't be mean, pay him enough money for that!

Step 6.

Make contact with an important company that features cigarette advertisments, and pay them to put your pic on a huge screen (at least for a day), on a street where the traffic is a completely continuous natural stream.

Don't neglect this step! It's the first bridge to true Fame.

Step 7.

Try hard and do your best to convince Zander to accept a drink with you. Buy him whatever he wants to drink, no matter how many or how expensive. Make sure you pay; he would love it.

When you notice that he is tipsy, get down to business.

Tell him that you need two pick votes every day, whether you publish anything or not. That means you should have 60 picks of the day every month.

And add to that two pick votes for every one you actually do receive when you publish an article. I think he already has a deal like this with Mr. Leroy, he should be willing to do it for you, too!

No reason for anyone to catch up with you, never ever :-)

Step 8

Make sure that each step is being executed meticulously and carefully.

Avoid any troubles with Authorities, otherwise you'll end like myself in this pic - WANTED DEAD OR ALIVE. (They still do that, no?)

Thank God, I was lucky enough to fix this. Well, I had enough money. Anyway, a week later, my first success was starting to emerge.

Success 1

If every step turns out positive and is done just as expected, all you have to do is lay back and relax. The time of enjoying your success has arrived!

My first success: I was interviewed by CNN on their newest program, called:

"Be the First to Laugh"!

Success 2

My second unexpected success: I was blessed to replace the little beast in "The Lord of the Rings".

This is everybody's dream. Fortunately, I've been given the chance.

THE BEST SUCCESS EVER REACHED ON B/R

Mr. President Obama enjoyed my slideshows and e-mailed me a generous comment:

"Thanks Mohamed! You really made me laugh, keep up the good work!"

If you don't believe me, just take a look at the picture, after he set-up a video conference with me! :-)

Thanks so much for everybody!

Good luck - maybe you, too, can find B/R success like me, your friend:

Mohamed