What Will Michael Vick Torture Next?

Fred NockContributor IJuly 28, 2009

RICHMOND, VA - AUGUST 27:  Atlanta Falcons quarterback Michael Vick makes a statement to reporters at the Omni Richmond Hotel after agreeing to a guilty plea on charges stemming from his involvement in a dogfighting ring August 27, 2007, in Richmond, Virginia.  (Photo by Jonathan Ernst/Getty Images)

So, I have a suggestion for Michael Vick: If you can't get back into the NFL you could become a butcher and start your own line of Celebrity hamburgers. 

For all those of you who think Vick will go to the UFL, forget it.  He's like a dog that has a taste for human flesh and now must be hunted down and...hey, wait a minute...

Just think Mike, all that experience you gained at Bad Newz Kennels could be redirected at a positive venture like Michael Vick's Bad Newz abattoir.  Your experience in electrocution would be valuable. 

You could hold the dirty end of an old extension cord to a cow instead of a dog.  There are very few people who can stomach something like that, and you love it.  You know what they say, when you find something you love your job is not work. 

For a new challenge I would suggest Mike Vick try drowning a cow instead of a dog.  Any Multi-Million Dollar Idiot can drown a dog, but a cow, that takes talent.  And everyone says Mike Vick has Talent.