Great movie quotes and famous lines have become a standard for men and women to use in various situations.
How was work today? “Well, a fat woman clip-clopped into the shoe store today."
Automatically, you know two things:
Al Bundy is classic.
It was a rough day.
Catch phrases and one-liners sometimes get old, but there are those chosen few that are always relevant. In this prediction, I am going to give each SEC coach a phrase to use when facing these situations in the season to come.
As classic as some of these phrases already are, I would still love to see Urban Myer tell Lane Kiffin “I’m going make you squeal like a piggy," right before kickoff on Sept. 19th.
So, here we go with some more college predictions and some suggestions to the coaches we love and hate to spice things up even more in the SEC.
Nick Saban has been known to say some pretty off the wall things.
“I am not going to be the coach at Alabama" is the first to come to mind.
Although he probably needs no commentary or suggestions on how to motivate and focus his defense, I’m going to give him one anyway.
On the first day of fall practice when he has the entire defense kneeling down in front of him, this is where he pulls that straw hat down at a tilt and just barely makes his eyes visible, before telling the players:
“Jesus was here before the University of Alabama, so you can give your heart to Jesus, but your A$$ belongs to the TIDE!"
Let’s see if that doesn’t at least get them motivated enough to "finish" practice.
The Ole Ball coach hasn't been exactly running and gunning anything in Columbia lately. This year will be no different for his Gamecocks. When times are rough and you have lost your edge there is no shame in calling it quits. However, Steve has never let me down with his press conferences.
I especially love “Free Shoes University." So don't start now.
After you finish 6-6 again this year and you step to that podium to announce you will be pursuing a career in recreational golf, do it in style.
Stand up and tell everyone, “I’m too old for this S@#t," sling you visor on the ground and walk out like you came in: ticking everyone off.
This guy is trying to take over Jimmy Hart's title as “The Mouth of The South"; he just does not know when to shut up.
Silence may be golden, but Lane, don't let me down. When you step up to that mic after the most lopsided loss in Tennessee history, let us all know what it was like. Place your head in your hands, pull back on your hair, and scream above the tears and sobs of Tennessee alumni:
“THE HORROR, THE HORROR!"
If you do, however, choose not to take this approach, at least do it when you lose to Alabama. Thanks, Lane, you have made everyone laugh. Maybe not with you, but most definitely at you.
Urban Myer has been the face of the Next Generation of offense in football after winning two national titles and putting up crazy offensive numbers in the SEC.
This year will be no different, with no defense in the SEC short of 'Bama and LSU (if the problems are fixed) that can even come close to stopping the Florida machine.
This year, Urban should cement himself as the best thing going in Florida and in the SEC, taking fans and recruits and making them into Gators. Not only is he taking over people, the spread is catching on like wildfire, from high school, college, and the wild cat in the pros.
Urban needs to hold a press conference and in his most machine like voice stand up and let everyone know, “We are the Spread, we will assimilate you. Resistance is futile."
Did you know that Les Miles is going to be the highest paid coach in the SEC? Thanks to his contract, he is grunted to make $1K more than any other coach.
And we all thought that the bailouts were a waste of money.
Since Les is going to be Mr. Money bags, I think it is only fitting that he has some of the same crazy traits that Ben Franklin had. If you did not know this, Ben was a nudist, despised the British, and was quite the prankster.
Since I think that the fans in Baton Rouge will only be drinking to forget how bad the team is this year, here is a quote that the Mad Hatter should take from Ben to cheer his woeful fan base up.
Les, buddy, just pop a keg and remind Tiger fans that “Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to prosper."
Come to think of it, Les, that might be a good recruiting pitch as well.
How fitting is it that this guy's last name is Nutt? He is one charismatic and funny guy to listen to. I like Houston and I think he is a good coach, but he, nor Ole Miss, has ever lived up to expectations.
This is going to be the year Ole Miss breaks out of the SEC cellar and rises to the top. Ole Miss is even a dark horse to win the National Championship. Jevan Snead got two votes as the best QB in the SEC, and is projected by some to go in the first round of the draft.
When Houston's bubble bursts (and believe me it will), Alabama, LSU, or Arkansas, let your QB steal this line when he talks to you in the locker room after that first loss.
“Houston, we have a problem."
Come to think of it, he might as well just use it in the third quarter.