If Dodgeball Was a Pro Sport, Which Athletes Would Play?
By (Senior Analyst) on July 27, 2009
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Yes, we all know and love the game of dodgeball. For many of us, dodgeball was the game that we grew up on; a game in which only the strong survive and the weak are bound to perish. Furthermore, dodgeball is a game that epitomizes the true athlete, as it requires strength, speed, stamina, coordination, hands, quickness, footwork, and courage to play.
However, in spite of dodgeball's popularity as a youth sport within the United States, there has never even been any serious talk of the formation of a professional league. Therefore, I will take it upon myself to catalyze the discussion with this hypothetical question: if a professional dodgeball league was formed today, which current professional athletes would have the tools for success?
Here is my starting six:
1) Joe Mauer
Minnesota's star catcher would be a perfect fit to man the top-right slot of the dodgeball team's lineup. As one of baseball's top catchers, he has experience catching objects moving as fast as a 100 miles per hour. Because of that, catching a dodgeball shouldn't prove to be an overly burdensome challenge for him. Furthermore, Joe's arm is exceptionally strong, which should allow him to become quite the offensive force as well.
2) Brock Lesnar
At 6'2" and 265 pounds, Brock is the ideal fit to man the center spot on the dogeball court. As most MMA fans would know, Brock Lesnar posesses quadruple XL size hands, which would give him a huge advantage when it comes to bringing in hard throws from the opposition. Furthermore, I wouldn't be going out on too much of a limb to guess that Brock can throw a ball rather hard as well. I can see Lesnar becoming a fan favorite in the world of dodgeball.
3) Tony Azevedo
As the above picture would attest, Tony Azevedo would be a perfect fit for dodgeball. Why? It's because he comes from a sport in which he has to throw a ball, similar in dimensions to a dodgeball, through a goal as hard as possible. Tony is one of the better scorers in the world of water polo today, and therefore he seems to be ideal for the right wing of my dodgeball team. If he can throw a dodgeball as nearly as hard as he throws in water polo, he should become a lethal force in his new sport.
4) Floyd Mayweather Jr.
Who better than the quickest man in the world of boxing to provide this team with a little defensive prowess? At 5'7" and 145 pounds, Floyd can become the pesky dodger who the opposition simply cant get out. When all else fails, Floyd's speed will always give his team a fighter's chance.
5) Ivano Balic
Team handball's elite superstar would have all of the potential in the world of succeeding on a dodgeball court. As the above picture depicts, Balic's responsibilities within the sport of team handball include throwing a dodgeball-sized ball really, really hard and accurately. If he can bring that same skill set to the world of dodgeball, quite a few Americans would finally come to know of this Croatian superstar.
6) Chad Ochocinco
For the final selection for my dodgeball lineup, I will choose Chad Ochocinco, the ever eccentric wide receiver who can turn on the stop of a dime and catch everything in sight. Beware before you throw the ball at him, because even the best of the best will have a tough time getting it through his hands.
Who would you pick?
Ok, so here you have my starting six. However, there are still countless athletes left within the world of sports who could potentially succeed in the game of dodgeball. So, that leaves us with the question...
Who will you pick?
Let the debate begin.
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