Back in Action
That being said, if anybody wants to hop on and do some NFL team analysis, I'd love to have you write for the site, just pick a team other than the Giants (that's my job) and send whatever you have to email@example.com - if I like it, I'll post it - simple as that.
In the meantime, I'll leave you with some of the more comical aspects of the fateful night that "Plaxi-CON" Burress derailed the Giants season:
- on the evening of November 28th, Giants teammates Plaxico Burress, Antonio Pierce and Ahmad Bradshaw were spotted at New York Strip club Head Quarters, eating turkey dinners and drinking bottles of Patron (not the greatest combo if you ask me). While at Head Quarters, the married Pierce was caught groping numerous strippers (still love ya Pierce)
- after Head Quarters, the three men headed over to Latin Quarter, a club on the East Side - where the dimwitted Burress brought his .40-cal Glock with him to the VIP section (smart one Plax! VIP sections at nightclubs are real dangerous spots! Thank god you had your glock with you)
- around 1:50 AM, Burress is escorted to another VIP section of the club by a bouncer and fumbles his gun, leading to the infamous "shot through the thigh" (AND YOU'RE TO BLAME! YOU GIVE THE GIANTTSS A BADDDD NAME!).
- being the good teammate that he is, Pierce then rushed Burress to his Escalade and drove off to New York-Cornell Hospital (Burress's gun was apparently brought to the car and placed in the glovebox by a caring bouncer).
- once at the hospital, Burress thought it wise to sign in under the fake name "Harris Smith" (Fantasy Football team name anyone?) and stays there overnight while being treated for gunshot wounds
- Pierce leaves Burress at the hospital and drives home, but not before dropping his blood soaked gun off with Plax's wife Tiffany (I'm sure she was THRILLED that Antonio Pierce woke her up in the middle of the night and handed her a bloody gun that her husband had shot himself with... what a wake up call)
- Ahmad Bradshaw is nowhere to be found - he was clearly the smartest one of the three and must have stayed at Head Quarters groping strippers all night (a perfectly common way for an NFL star to spend his evenings)
Now, on another note, legendary NY District Attorny Robert Morgenthau is apparently hellbent on sending a message to ill-behaved athletes and is determined to get Burress behind bars for AT LEAST two years. Morgenthau will be retiring at years end and it seems as if he would like to go out with a bang - so good luck trying to play football Plax... won't be easy.
PS - FUCK YOU PLAXICO! You went from "hero to zero" to use the old cliche in 99% of Giant's fans books. You singlehandedly derailed the Giants shot at back t0 back Superbowls with your selfish behavior. Without your services, we lost to the FUCKING EAGLES! AT HOME! IN THE PLAYOFFS! The same Eagles that consistently never had an answer for you. The same Eagles that you had torched throughout your entire career. Eli wasn't the same without you. The offense as a whole wasn't the same without you. And despite the best efforts of Domenik Hixon, Steve Smith, Amani Toomer and the rest of the Giants WR's, they just weren't good enough. So, I hope you had fun at Latin Quarter that night, and I at least hope you got laid before you shot yourself. Have fun in jail, ask Vick for some advice.
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