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Chiefs fans have had fun with their inordinate amount of draft picks. Patriots fans feel OK with their additions and subtractions. Even the Raiders look like they are a better team, and that is saying something...

NFL: How You Know Your Offseason Is Sucking

by James Christensen (Columnist)

15

865 reads

Opinion

May 11, 2008


Chiefs fans have had fun with their inordinate amount of draft picks. Patriots fans feel OK with their additions and subtractions. Even the Raiders look like they are a better team, and that is saying something.
 
Other people, teams, and fans haven't had such a great offseason. Here are a few ways you know that your NFL offseason is sucking:
 


  1. Rex Grossman is still your starting quarterback.
  2. You're a Bengals fan, but not a bondsman.
  3. You had Pacman Jones in the "NFL Player to get arrested at Lake Travis" pool.
  4. Mel Kiper Jr. says you are having a great offseason.
  5. You are the Senior Senator from the great state of Pennsylvania.
  6. DeSean Jackson is your new go-to receiver.
  7. You're a mustard salesman, and you were hoping to get a boost from the NFL Draft. (Lame "Mayo" Joke)
  8. J! E! T! S!
  9. Two words: Tomase, John.
  10. You know Adarius Bowman, but you're not his dealer.
  11. You're Adarius Bowman.
  12. Matt Leinart didn't help you with any of your kegstands.
  13. (Afraid to insert Marvin Harrison joke)
  14. Your team president didn't even draft a WR. (Lions Fans only)
  15. Mario Manningham beat you in truth or dare.

 16.   You're already looking at this.

 

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15 comments Last one added about 1 year ago — Leave a Comment

  1. Patrick Wall about 1 year ago

    As an Eagles fan, I love/am saddened by #6. Nice job!

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  2. Kevin Luchansky about 1 year ago

    Thats a great list, nice work. Props on the Adarius Bowman and Marvin Harrison references.

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  3. Joe Willett about 1 year ago

    Totally agree with #1, hilarious article, wish I had thought of it. POTD for sure.

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  4. Isaac Elyacharshuster about 1 year ago

    "You had Pacman Jones in the "NFL Player to get arrested at Lake Travis" pool."

    Lost like 100 dollars on that one. Its like the NCAA bracket pool, where the homer who doesnt know anything always wins.

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  5. Raider Card Addict about 1 year ago

    "you have too much to work with, with the 49ers, to say anything positive, so you hate the raiders for no reason" Dedicated to Mike49er

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  6. James Christensen about 1 year ago

    C'mon Raider card... that is about as close as I'm ever going to get to a raider compliment.

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    • Raider Card Addict about 1 year ago

      hard to help it, nothing against the article. Just get tired of the haters, who like to flame the Raider articles, but never post anything on their team. Irritating.

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  7. Matt Tolours about 1 year ago

    Good stuff... and I like the Chiefs love

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  8. Michael Stevens about 1 year ago

    #1 is proof positive that there is no God...enough said!

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  9. Chet Miskiel about 1 year ago

    Mike49er...don't even comment on the Raiders HC, look at your own. Terrible drafting by your team the past several years and you continue to go backwards. I see an upside with the Raiders, and I know that isn't saying much, but on paper, the Raiders have much more talent that the Whiners. I liked the article very whitty and some truth!!!

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    • Chris X about 1 year ago

      Last time I check the 49er's drafted Alex Smith and gave him $51 million strapping the team to the cellar of the NFC Worst through the next CBA (don't kid yourself, Dr. Johnie won't get the check book out for 2010).

      I guess it is a good thing the 49er's used a top 10 pick on a right tackle. I don't know of any other teams who take a RT in that high in the first round. I suppose he did a good job with the hellacious opposing defenses inthe NFC Worst.

      That sort of cancels out any other positives any positives you can draw about Patrick Willis.

      Given an opportunity, the 49ers would trade tight end production per dollar (Miller vs. Davis) in a NY second. I guess speed is a good thing, even though he has worse hands than Rickey Dudley.

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  10. Sean Crowe about 1 year ago

    Fantastic job.

    What about "You barely missed out on Patriots' opening day tickets and only ended up with a Mel Kiper Jr. photo instead" ?

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  11. Carter Johnson about 1 year ago

    now you just need to say something about how the dolphins are being run by "The Big Tuna".

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