MLB's All-Jewish Team: We Answer To a Higher Source

Earlier this week, Yankee writer extraordinaire, Heartbeat of the Bronx won yet another Pick of the Day, with his story entitled MLB's All Catholic Team: Where Mystique May Come From a Higher Power.

Great slide show about MLB players with Catholic names. He spoke of players named Angel, Jesus, Caine, Abel and Samson. As usual Heartbeat combined writing prowess, baseball knowledge and an uncanny sense of humor to present a wonderful baseball read.

As often occurs, Heartbeat and I stand on opposing sides of the fence on an issue. See Heartbeat is a Yankee writer, while I write for the Sox. Heartbeat is Catholic, while I am Jewish.

So with no further ado...I present to you, Baseball's Major League players with Jewish sounding names. (like they did to my ancestors at Ellis Island, the names were slightly altered)

And let me warn you....it's a little meshugenah (Yiddish for crazy)...

Manager- Joe Torah

After many seasons, managing the NY Yankees, Joe is now in his second year as the manager of the Dodgers.

Despite being named after the Jewish Holy Book, Joe is not Jewish.

DH-Jason Kugel

Kugel is having perhaps his best season with the Twins, batting .310 with 18 home runs and 58 RBI.

He is in his fifth season with the Twins and despite being named after a Yiddish noodle pudding dish, he is not Jewish.

RF-Yamil-ka Benitez

Benitez played four seasons (95-98) with the Expos, Royals and Diamondbacks and had a lifetime batting average of .243 with 19 home runs and 60 RBI.

Despite being named after a Jewish prayer hat, Benitez is not Jewish.

LF-Man-ichevitz Ramirez

Ramirez served a 50-game suspension this season for testing positive for PED's.

Despite being named after a popular Jewish wine and always playing with his head covered, Ramirez is not Jewish.

C-Jerry Moses

Moses was a catcher for portions of nine MLB seasons with the Red Sox, Angels, Yankees, Indians and Tigers.

Despite being named after the most important prophet in the Jewish religion, Moses is not Jewish.

DH-Mike Jacobs

Jacobs is the power hitting DH for the Kansas City Royals. After a career year last season with the Marlins, Jacobs is hitting only .219 with 13 HR and 33 RBI this season with the Royals.

Despite being the third Biblical patriarch and ancestor of the 12 tribes of Israel, Jacobs is not Jewish.

3B-Mike Benjamin

Benjamin played 13 big league seasons with the Giants, Phillies, Red Sox and Pirates and had a career average of .229 with 24 HR and 129 RBI.

Despite being named after the 12th son of Jacob and his wife Rachel (who died at Benjamin's birth), Benjamin is not Jewish.

LF-Israel Alcantrara

Alcantrara is best known for karate kicking a minor league catcher before charging the mound.

He played three MLB seasons with the Red Sox and the Brewers.

Despite being named after the Mideast Jewish state, Alcantrara is not Jewish.

SS-Rabbi Maranville

Maranville played 23 seasons primarily with the Red Sox. He had a .258 lifetime batting average.

Despite being named after the Jewish word for religious teacher, Maranville is not Jewish.

SS-Khhhhhhha-lil Greene

Greene is currently in his first season with the Cardinals after six seasons with the Padres.

Despite being named after the phlegm sound in many Jewish pronunciations, Greene is not Jewish.

P-Matt-zoh Caine

Cain is currently 12-2 with a 2.30 ERA with the San Francisco Giants.

Despite being named after unleavened bread or balls in chicken soup, Cain is not Jewish.

CF-Grady Circum-sizemore

Grady has had a very disappointing season for the Indians hitting only .230 with 14 homers and 51 RBI.

Despite being named after the Jewish ritual performed on the third day of every Jewish boy's life, Grady is not Jewish.

Team-Washington Hebrew Nationals

Washington resides in last place in the entire MLB. They moved several seasons ago after two decades as the Montreal Expos. Despite being named after the most kosher of franks, Washington is not Jewish.

P-Sam Jew

Jew is a pitcher for Palomar Community College and is from Kalamunda, Perth, Western Australia. Despite being named Jew......Jew is not Jewish.

Mazeltov and L'Chaim.